Out of the Frying Pan
The fierce fighting continues, the combat drawing slowly closer. Does the frog king want to eat weakened, immobilized hunters? They do say carnivores prey on the weakest in a group.
A fair bit of distance still divides us, but the heat must be reaching us, since Lammis and the hunters are scowling.
The hunters currently fighting appear to have noticed us, but before they can say anything, the frog king heads straight for us.
We can’t escape anyway. It would be a waste not to struggle—even if it won’t do any good!
“Get ready, everyone!” calls Lammis.
“Right!”
Everyone lines up on the edge of the cart, puts their candy into their colas, and plugs their bottles’ holes closed with their fingers. And when the bubbles fill the insides…
“Aim at the eyes!”
…black streams of gushing cola fly from the plastic bottles, heading for the frog king’s eyeballs as it approaches. On contact with its flames, the liquid evaporates instantly. But we’ve got plenty more.
The frog king, looking annoyed, tries to attack us, but now that its flames have weakened, the other hunters switch to the offensive. That’s when we harass it with a second volley.
The group’s vice captain, Filmina, manages to help, slinging her own water into the fray. Thanks to her shot, our cola splash hits the thing right in the eyes.
“Gugegugegoohhhh!”
Oh, it’s blinking madly. Cola really hurts when it gets in your eyes, doesn’t it? I know that feeling.
As the frog king writhes and rages, the hunters don’t let this opening go; they begin an all-out attack.
Anyway, we’ve harassed it enough, so we can leave the rest to them. Now is our chance to beat a retreat!
“Run awaaay!”
While I bounce around on Lammis’s back as she pulls the cart, fleeing at full force, I send a few last words to the frog king.
“Please come again.”
With the frog king’s vision impaired, the hunters easily downed it. But when it was over, I had a thought.
Wouldn’t things have worked out if Lammis just used her Might to throw bottles of cola, or any liquid really, at the frog from close range…? Oh, but she’s clumsy, so it’s pretty likely her throws wouldn’t land. And I had no way to suggest that, either. That’s the excuse I’m using. Leave it to someone who’s lost his cool to come up with off-the-wall ideas, I guess.
All’s well that ends well, so I can’t complain, but there must have been a different way. Yeah. I’ll reflect on my mistake.
“I’m glad it worked out, Boxxo!”
“Yeah, it’s all thanks to you, Boxxo.”
I’m happy they’re praising me for this, but I feel conflicted about it. If I could give them anything, I could have given them gas cylinders or something. They could throw those, and the frog king would have died in the ensuing explosion. But my inventory is limited to things I’ve bought from vending machines in the past.
Products with gas in them, canisters and hair spray included, seem weak to impacts and heat, but I’ve never seen them in vending machines before, though they might actually be sold in one somewhere.
I can’t think of any other solutions at the moment, so I suppose this was the only way. Hmm. I’ll have to learn a little more about how I work.
And if we’re on the subject of things to reflect upon… Points consumption! The two-liter-bottle support and candy-roll-vending mode cost 2,000. Purchasing the cola and candy cost 40 in total, meaning I spent 2,040 points altogether.
It was enough to let us scrape by, so I suppose it’s fine.
“Don’t do anything reckless again. I felt my gut freeze solid.”
“I’m sorry, Director.”
Director Bear has walked over and offered some candid advice, to which Lammis bows deeply and apologizes. If you muted the sound, it would look like a girl begging a bear not to eat her.
“But I’m grateful for your help. It was our failure that exposed you all to danger. I am sorry.”
“N-no, I’m sorry for acting recklessly.”
The bear and the girl bow to each other. It’s a surreal but heartwarming sight.
We had casualties, but nobody was wounded gravely enough that they’d never get back on their feet. Seeing Director Bear’s relief leaves an impression on me.
“Excellent work, everyone. Once we’ve rested up, we’ll start on the way home. But it’s a long way to the settlement. Don’t let your guards down.”
Director Bear’s words marked an end to this battle.
Nothing noteworthy happened after the battle. Everyone was exhausted that night and lacked the energy to cook, so my vending machine sales probably reached the highest point of my career so far.
Oh, right. Cola seems strangely popular now. I think the ones who were splashed by the cola are drinking it not only because they were interested in the taste but also because it’s the drink that saved their lives.
Incidentally, I’m sealing away the candy that made the cola explode, at least for a while. I have to change my vending machine form to sell them, so I can’t stock anything else.
One night passes in the forest, and we all arrive safe and sound at the settlement a little after noon the next day.
Relieved at the thought of finally being able to rest our worn-out bodies, what greets us is…a settlement with smoke rising from all over the place. Wait, wait, wait!
Part of the wall, which was just pieces of wood with nails in them, has collapsed. The wooden gate is trashed, too… Where are Karios and Gorth, the gatekeepers?! Please be safe.
“Wh-what is this?! I’m sorry to ask this of you all while you’re exhausted, but it looks like we’ll have to give one final push.”
The majority of the team, leaving the hunters in the cart who hadn’t yet recovered, run toward the settlement.
I hate not being able to move on my own. I would follow right on their heels, burst into the settlement, and go straight to the inn to see if the mistress, Munami, and my regular customers were safe.
But I can’t move unaided. I can’t even walk, much less run…
“E-everyone… Munami, the mistress…”
Lammis’s voice snaps me out of it. She sounds like she’s about to cry. What good will me being depressed do? Lammis has known them far longer than I have.
And there is something I can do for the girl who called me a friend!
“Get Insert coins.”
“What? Boxxo?”
“Thank you Please come Insert coins.”
I’ve been thinking for a long time about whether communication is possible. I can say only certain phrases, but I thought about whether I could put them together to have a conversation.
These are the only things I can say: “Welcome,” “Thank you,” “Please come again,” “Get one free with a winner,” “Too bad,” “You’re a winner,” and “Insert coins.”
I can’t pick out specific words I want to say from the phrases, but I wondered if I could start one of the phrases, then say the next one over the first and say something different. I put sentences together in my mind, over and over, staying up late at night, repeating the process while nobody was around—and learned how to cancel words and sounds by interrupting them, and how to change the speed of my pronunciation.
The first time, all I did was start to say, “Get one free with a winner,” stopping after the get and then saying “Insert coins” but delaying everything after the in. The second time, I spliced more phrases together to say, “You Please come In.” I wonder if she understands what I mean.
“You’re right. Nothing will happen if I don’t do anything! Let’s go, Boxxo!”
“Welcome.”
The fragmented speech is unsatisfying, but I’ll just have to be happy that I can converse with her at all. One day, if I can take pieces out of the middle of phrases, I might be able to put single letters and sounds together. I’ll just have to train every day.
When we enter the settlement together, we see that the tents and the few buildings near them have been brutally destroyed. Something must have attacked. I lower my gaze and see a giant groove in the ground.
It’s as though a huge rope or something was dragged along the ground… When I take a closer look at the ruined buildings, I see they have traces of something squeezing them from the outside in. In other words, the culprit must be…
“The inn… What happened to the inn?!”
Lammis runs with such speed no one would believe she’s carrying a vending machine on her back. I understand how she feels, but it’s possible that whatever did this is still here.
I can’t put words together to warn her about that. With the way I’m doing it, I need to memorize intelligible phrases beforehand. It’s too difficult to come up with something on the fly in this situation.
If I can’t warn her, I’ll just have to keep an eye out in her stead.
Ninety percent of the tents are wrecked. We don’t see a single soul on the path to the inn, which concerns me. If people were killed, their corpses would be lying about, but even those are absent.
What’s going on? If everyone evacuated, that would be best, but…
“Th-there it is! But… What?! This is awful! Mistress! Munami!”
Lammis, giving a grievous cry, looks at the inn. It’s almost entirely collapsed. The wooden structure, once two stories tall, is unrecognizable; the roof is blown off, and a section between the two floors is crushed, twisted inward.
The door is warped as well, and doesn’t serve the function of a door anymore. The fact that the rest of the place hasn’t collapsed is strange—it looks like any impact could send the whole thing toppling down.
At this rate, Lammis might dive right in. I have to do something to calm her down. My only choice is to combine the right words for the situation.
“Answer me! Both of you!”
Is she about to run inside? Crap, I need to do something! Then I say the first words that flash across my mind…
“You’re Too bad.”
“B-Boxxo! That was mean!”
Oh, the lady is quite cross with me. But it looks like that got her to calm down a bit. She takes a few deep breaths.
“Sorry, Boxxo. The building might collapse if I touch it. And if they’re not answering… There’s still a chance they evacuated somewhere.”
“Welcome.”
I can only answer her with yes or no, the way I have been.
Thankfully, Lammis is back to her usual self. I got just a quick glance at the inn, but I didn’t see any traces of blood inside it or nearby. Sure, my vision could have been clouded by my desire for their safety, but I decided to remain optimistic.
