Vending Machine for Adults
One week has passed. The settlement is bubbling with a revivalist mood, and it’s been fairly lively.
I can tell the new residents apart because they’re always surprised to see me. Very easy to understand.
It baffled me how the Hunters Association, which essentially runs the settlement by itself, can provide for so many people. Apparently, though, materials scavenged from that two-headed snake and the king frog fiend were sold for absurd amounts.
Also, the Hunters Association contract states that in exchange for the promise of significant rewards, the association has advance claim to all the materials hunting teams get from slaying monsters. The hunters are stomping their feet in frustration this time.
Ultimately, those who participated in the king-frog-fiend hunt received a special reward, and since then, none of them have complained. Come to think of it, the hunters who were wounded and couldn’t escape bought a lot from me, saying, “You’re the reason we’re alive—thank you.”
The two-headed snake is called a double serpent, a monster that inhabits the Clearflow Lake stratum. As I predicted, it’s a natural enemy of the frog people, and usually they fight each other, preventing large-scale outbreaks. This time, the double serpent had evidently been on a long trip, attacking smaller frog-people settlements and strengthening itself.
The Hunters Association’s view is that it was on its way to the settlement at which we’d been fighting because it assumed there would be a lot of frogs there now, but it spotted the human settlement first, and that’s how this happened.
As for why I’m so well-informed on the subject—that would be because I’m currently in the Hunters Association’s director’s office.
“So that’s about the gist of what happened. Boxxo, you and Lammis both did very well. If you hadn’t been there, it’s likely the situation would have kept getting worse. Thank you.”
“O-oh, please, raise your head.”
Director Bear rises from the sofa and begins to bow, and Lammis waves her arms wildly, trying to get him to stop. So wildly, in fact, that she’s creating wind currents. Such is her incredible Might.
Meanwhile, a vending machine stands next to her. If someone from Earth saw this, they’d doubt their own eyes.
“Explaining the special reward and the entire picture of the incident was one reason I brought the two of you here, but I did have one thing I wanted to ask Boxxo.”
Hmm? I wonder what it is. Hearing him speak in such a roundabout way is making me nervous. Whenever Director Bear’s eyes get serious—my, let’s say, animalistic survival instincts whisper to run away. Even though I’m a vending machine.
I know he’s a gentleman on the inside, but the pressure of a giant bear being in front of you isn’t something you can easily get used to.
“Boxxo, I’ve heard you can produce anything somebody wants as an item for purchase. Is this true?”
That’s an exaggeration. I can select items that I think someone will want, but the only items I can get are the ones I’ve bought from vending machines before.
If I could deliver anything, I could just stock handguns and weapons, and that fight probably would have gone a lot more easily. I can’t have anything vending machines wouldn’t sell, and though I’m proud I’ve bought almost everything I’ve ever seen in one, there are probably still more vending machine products in the world that I’m not aware of.
My answer is no, but I still want to tell him that, to a certain extent, I can. How should I respond?
“Welcome Too bad.”
“Hmm. What does that mean?”
“I think Boxxo wants to say that he can do it, but he can’t do some things.”
“Welcome.”
Lammis’s interpretations are constantly saving me.
Director Bear seems to understand; he nods several times. Wow, he looks like a bear begging people for food at the zoo— No, that’s a rude thought.
“I see—so that’s how it is. Then, if possible, I have a request of you. Uh, Lammis, could you wait outside? I have something secret to talk to Boxxo about.”
“Sure. Um, should I wait on the first floor?”
“Yes, thank you. I’ll send someone to get you once we’re done.”
“Okay, got it. Mom always said not to interrupt men when they’re talking. I’ll be waiting downstairs!”
“Thank you,” I say as she withdraws. Lammis waves her arm around behind her and closes the door.
A bear and a vending machine in a small room. Of course, if he doesn’t start talking, we won’t get anywhere.
“First, I’ll give you an overview of the situation. A lot of people are surging into this settlement right now. Originally, until three years ago, this place flourished more… In fact, it was big enough to be called a town.”
I could tell there are more people in the settlement just through my sales, but the inn’s mistress and Karios mentioned something happening three years ago, too.
A place you would call a full-fledged town… The buildings around the Hunters Association are grand, and I always thought the settlement was simply too big for its population of about a hundred, but now I understand. That makes sense.
“We lost many residents during that incident, and many of those who survived left. The only ones who stayed were the hunters and the most enthusiastic businesspeople. We levy no taxes here. They remained here for that, so this incident didn’t scare them off—in fact, it already looks like they’ll make up for their losses.”
The people here really are hardy. As a resident here, they’re the best I could depend on.
“After this incident with the double serpent, word got out that we killed it without any deaths. People began to praise our defensive capabilities, and many gathered wishing to move here, which is why we’re thriving right now. We plan to not only repair the ruined homes but also build new ones, and stores as well.”
That means I’ll have many more chances to profit. I’ll have to start thinking about what new products and features I want to get.
“An increase in people causes several problems. I have hopes for you in the food area, Boxxo, but the merchants understand the facts, too. Many goods are now flowing in, so it’s not a big worry.”
Hmm. I see. Shops are starting to line up in front of the Hunters Association, after all. My cup ramen sales have fallen lately, so I was just looking for a new product. Of course, I’ve been selling more beverages to make up for it, so my total profits are holding steady.
It seems like the seasoned veterans who have lived through the multifaceted Japanese-beverage business world are still overwhelming this world’s drinks with their flavors and novelty.
“I’m sorry—I got off topic. Anyway, for the real problem… The upcoming concern I’ve been worried about the most is related to our sexual manners and customs. We bear fiends have little such desire outside of our breeding season, but that isn’t true for humans. With the increase in people, we’re facing a shortage of supply to meet demand.”
I see—so this is the kind of talk he wanted to have. Which is why he had Lammis leave.
The tidbit that Director Bear is part of a race called bear fiends is valuable, but I’ll leave that aside for now. Hmm… Ever since my body turned metal, it seems as if I’ve been released from desires like that, but I do keenly understand.
“And then there’s the problem of hygiene. If disease spreads, it will hold up the reconstruction work. Nevertheless, if we control it too strictly, we’ll have a different problem on our hands. I know this is an unreasonable request, but, Boxxo, have you any ideas?”
It really is unreasonable. Hmm… I do have one idea regarding diseases. But I’m not too knowledgeable about this world, so I’m not sure if something similar exists.
To test it out, I’ll give him one and see his reaction.
The items come in boxes, so I have to add a new feature. Let’s see… I suppose Boxed-Item Support would work. Hmm, yes—I can sell boxed candy and cigarettes with it, too. The issue is that I’ve never smoked once in my life, so I’ll have to give up on selling the latter.
I add the item and put it on display.
“Interesting—so that’s how you change your products. Hmm… What is this box? Is this your plan, Boxxo?”
“Welcome.”
“Then I will buy one. It looks like there are three varieties, so I’ll buy them all. Still, ten silver coins isn’t very cheap.”
These go for about a thousand yen a box in Japan, so I set their price to align with the drinks—if it’s too expensive, I’ll think about changing it.
“I open the box, yes? It looks like a small pouch with nicks in it. Do I tear this part open to get it out?”
“Welcome.”
“Hmm, so I’m not wrong, then. With my hands, this is a bit hard to manage. I know—this works out nicely. I’ll call her. Shirley, please come in.”
At Director Bear’s summons, another door along the wall opens up, and a woman appears in the doorway.
If I were human, I would have said “whoa.”
The evening dress clinging to her body has a slit that goes all the way up to her waist, and her long, shapely legs look like porcelain, coming in and out of view with every step she takes. Her shoulders are bare, and the neckline is cut quite boldly as well, causing the eyes to naturally focus on her ample cleavage.
It would be no exaggeration to say that she has the ideal body any woman would be jealous of. On top of that, her distinct features are without flaw.
Her lustrous black hair flows down her back, and her eyes, heavily lidded and wistful, when combined with her light-crimson lipstick, are the pinnacle of seduction.
Oh, she does that sort of work. The way she presents herself has that sort of appeal.
“Oh, would this be Boxxo? Pleased to meet you. I’m Shirley.”
Even her smile is sexy. If my body weren’t a vending machine, I wouldn’t even be able to look her in the eyes. And the way she’s crossed her legs after sitting on the sofa—she has to be purposely keeping things just barely out of sight.
“This is the item Boxxo has provided us. It’s a bit hard to do with my hands. Could I get you to do it?”
“Of course. This item will help us out, right? I wonder, do you tear it here…? Oh. Now, this is a strange material. It stretches and contracts—how interesting.”
Why do I feel like a terrible person?
“There’s a warm fluid stuck to the sides. Is this for…?”
“I have no idea. Come to think of it, there was a paper inside the box. Try reading that.”
“Thank you. Oh—I see how it is. There’s a helpful diagram here, so it’s easy to see.”
I wish she would stop smiling so voluptuously. I feel like I’m going to malfunction.
“Oh, so you know? How is this item used?”
“You put this on a gentlemen’s member before inserting it into a woman’s secret place. It looks like the different boxes are to suit a man’s size. With something this thin, it won’t get in the way of the act, but it will still prevent disease. What a fine article this is.”
As might be expected from a professional—she figured out what the condom was at a glance. She looks truly happy, rather than trying to flatter me.
As an aside, the boxes are separated into small, medium, and large. If I can only stock things I’ve bought in my past life, then why am I able to stock three different sizes? All I’ll say is this: They’re my vanity, my pride, and my reality. I’m sure every man has done some testing while imagining the real thing…right?
Shirley goes through the boxes, checking their sizes, quantities, and prices, taking notes and nodding to herself. “I would very much like to purchase these. If you have any other products you can recommend, I’d like to see them as well.”
I…I guess I have no choice. She’s being so insistent that I have to show her. S-still, I haven’t bought much in the way of adult products, so there won’t be too many.
After that, we manage to strike an agreement, and Shirley leaves the director’s office, swaying her hips as she goes. I was in some trouble at the end when she left me with a “If you were human, I would have personally offered my services. How unfortunate.”
But after meeting back up with Lammis…
“Huh? Boxxo, you feel a little warm. Was there something that made you happy?”
…she said something that made me freeze. I almost panicked that my Heat-Retention feature had broken. That was when I first learned that her perceptiveness was both a good and a bad thing.
