As a result of my information gathering, I’ve learned the following things.
PT stands for points, which I can spend to restock or swap what items I have for sale, or even alter my vending machine body’s functions.
These additional features don’t only warm or cool beverages—some let me heat up frozen food or pour hot water into cup ramen. There was a lot of information, but I made sure to skim through the text at least.
To more thoroughly investigate these additional features, I looked into the kinds of items I can dispense. When I checked, a ridiculously long list came up. After poring over everything, it seemed like anything I bought at a vending machine before dying is now something I could acquire with points.
Just to test, I tried converting points to cold milk tea; by using ten points, I got (C) Milk Tea (x100). I exchanged it with the rightmost bottle of mineral water, since they had been occupying the entire cold-beverage area. I can set the prices, too, so I set it at one hundred yen.
For reference, one hundred yen can be converted into one point. Does my system restock itself using its own sales? I sort of feel like that doesn’t match generic vending machines.
Oh, right. One other strange thing I discovered when I learned how to check my body: I don’t run on electricity. It’s already been explained, but it seems I use points in place of power. I consume one point per hour, which means I go through twenty-four in a day. In other words, I guess my minimum expenses are 2,400 yen per day.
I still have more than nine hundred points, so I can keep operating like this for another month. Still, I’ll refrain from unnecessary spending. No adventures for me until I get some steady sales.
Anyway, there’s a good reason why I’m thinking about all this. I’m bored. Two days have passed since I became a vending machine, but not a single person’s come by. When I examined my surroundings more closely, it was obvious—the area by the lakeside doesn’t have a paved road anywhere. Nobody is going to come here.
I can’t believe this… I really hope my life doesn’t end without anyone showing up, followed by me shutting down.
Hmm, well…let’s give my additional features a look, too. Maybe one of them will let me grow tires so I can move on my own. No matter how I look at it, this location is awful. I want to go somewhere more populated.
Mm-hmm, features, features. Microwave—with hot water, I can provide hot food. Other than that— Oh, I can get the function where I pour drinks into paper cups, too? And…hmm? Underneath the functions is something a little odd. What’s this?
“Gugeggogeggo.”
Oh, is that a creature’s voice? Thinking can come later. I’ve been on one-player mode for too long. Just the thought of encountering a living thing makes my heart skip a beat.
I’ve never heard a cry like that, but it’s vaguely frog-like. Sounds like it came from the forest near the lake. I’m pretty sure I don’t have actual eyes, but I mentally keep them peeled anyway.
Something just came out of the trees—what? Uh, do frogs these days tend to have blackish skin and wear leather armor? It has a misshapen wooden club in its hands, and it’s walking on two legs to boot.
That’s a little much to refer to as a new type of frog, isn’t it? The creature’s face is as big as a person’s, and warts cover its exposed arms and legs. Its eyes are pointed up at the sides, and I can see sharp canines in its mouth, even though it’s a frog.
Wait, that looks awfully like a monster. A bipedal, wart-covered frog? I think it’s less than five feet tall, but it also seems vicious.
If that’s special makeup, it’s good enough to shock even Hollywood. But its slimy-looking, gleaming skin and the twitchy movements of those eyes feel genuine.
Does that mean this isn’t Japan? Normally, this would be when shock takes hold of me, but I’ve already turned into a vending machine. Clearly, I can laugh common sense right out the door.
Wait, if this is another world or something, then how does currency work? I’m fairly confident no one will use yen in some alternate universe. Doesn’t that mean I’m doomed if I can’t get my metaphorical hands on some Japanese money?!
“Gyulgeggo?”
Oh, the frog person is looking this way. Hey, you, stay away! Wait. If that thing’s wearing leather armor, chances are it’s an intelligent life-form. I’m the worst, judging someone solely based on appearance. This might be my first customer.
“Welcome.” I don’t think it will understand me, but I greet it anyway.
“Gwagego?!”
It’s looking around in surprise. Sorry, but that voice came from the vending machine.
Now it’s crouching with its club raised. If I talk again, I’ll probably get a funny reaction out of it, but…let’s not.
A little while passes as the frog person guardedly surveys the area, but eventually it gives up, unable to figure out what made the sound. Then it turns to me again.
Up close, the monster is pretty impressive. I’ve never been comfortable with reptiles or amphibians to begin with, but this one is the size of a full-grown adult, which makes it twice as horrifying.
It’s walking around now, keeping a fixed distance from me and my boxy body. Does it not understand what a vending machine is?
After a full circuit, the frog person raises its arms, and… Hey, stop! What are you doing with that club?!
Helpless to stop it, I can only watch as it swings downward.
The bludgeon strikes the glass display, rattling the whole vending machine.
[3 damage. Durability decreased by 3.]
Now what? Why did damage and durability pop up? This isn’t a game. Ah, crap. Only the lowest of beasts would ever harm a vending machine. Doesn’t it understand my functional yet artistic beauty?!
[2 damage. Durability decreased by 2.]
Crap! Don’t get full of yourself, frog. You hit me again when I couldn’t retaliate! It doesn’t seem like I can feel pain, so I suppose that’s fine, but won’t I break down at this rate?!
Wait, what’s this “durability” thing? Maybe it corresponds to this vending machine’s sturdiness, or life force.
[Durability: When this runs out, the vending machine will break and become unusable.]
Oh, so it’s like hit points, then. How much do I have left? Wait, how do I even check my stats…?
[Vending Machine] |
|
DUR 95/100 |
|
TGH 10 |
|
STR 0 |
|
SPD 0 |
|
DEX 0 |
|
MAG 0 |
|
{Features} Cold Retention, Heat Retention |
|
Whoa, something else came up. These must be my stats. Everything but durability and toughness is zero, huh? Well, I suppose I don’t need the other stats, seeing as how I’m a vending machine. If there’s a MAG stat, maybe that means magic exists in this world… Man, it would have been so cool to be a spell-slinging vending machine, but all I have in that column is a whole lot of nothing.
Wait, now’s not the time to wallow in self-pity. Wh-what should I do? I’ll break down if the frog person keeps hitting me like this. I-isn’t there some way to drive it off or replenish my durability?!
[Durability can be restored by spending points.]
Oh…I see. In that case, I still have nine hundred points, so maybe if this turns into a war of attrition, the frog person will give up.
Then, as if to scorn my very thoughts, there appeared three new frog people from the forest. They reacted too fast to that event flag!
Th-this is bad. Really bad. One of those frog people has an ax. Nothing good is going to happen if it hits me with that thing.
[2 damage. Durability decreased by 2.]
All right, all right, I get it! Wh-what now? Isn’t there anything in the list of additional functions that can help me?!
Hot-water dispenser, purchase jingle, compartment shock absorbers, slot machine… These are useless! I need something revolutionary—a function that’ll get me out of this mess!
And then my eyes are drawn to a new option that appeared—though I don’t have eyes.
[Transform Points: 1,000,000,000]
Wait, I can transform like a robot? Every man’s fantasies are packed into that one word! But seriously, a billion points? You don’t actually want to let me have that, do you?
N-no good. Can a guy get something a little more realistic to buy that’ll get him out of this?!
Even as I scan the list, I keep seeing the report [2 damage. Durability decreased by 2.] come up again and again. Hurry, hurry, gotta find a more effective… Oh, right, underneath.
After seeing it earlier, I left it alone, thinking I’d check it out later. I read the line again.
[Blessings]
What’s a blessing? No, stop. I can ponder that later. Let’s investigate.
[Blessing: A special power granted by the gods. You may choose one without spending any points.]
Oh, I get the first one for free? I don’t really get it, but it’s gotta be some superpowered magic or something, right?! O-okay, let’s choose one!
[Physical Alteration, Vision Transfer, Telepathy, Absorption, Plundering, Swordsmanship, Martial Arts, Fire Magic, Water Magic…]
What do you expect me to do with martial arts or swordsmanship?! I don’t have any limbs! But I’ll grab them once I get Transform, just you wait!
Wait, now’s not the time for that! Haven’t I learned by now?!
If I don’t have any MAG, I can’t use magic, either, can I? Um, maybe communicating with the frog people using telepathy is worth a try—I could probably get them to understand me regardless of language—but they didn’t look too interested in negotiating right now.
S-something else, then. Shouldn’t there be a Blessing that’s useful even for a vending machine?!
As I reach the very bottom of the list, there’s one entry I can’t peel my eyes from. It says Force Field, and its effect reads: [Erects an impassable force field around you at a distance of 3 feet. You can permit specific targets to pass in and out.] Th-this is it!
[2, 3, 5 damage. Durability decreased by 10.]
I don’t have any time left. I-I’m going with this!
After choosing Force Field, I feel like something warm slides into me. I—I don’t really get it, but Force Field, activate!
“Gurgegorgogego?!”
Oh, the frog people got blown away. And they fell onto their backs, too. How dare you beat me up as much as you wanted. I have to get a word in. I won’t be satisfied otherwise.
“Please come again.”
Heh. I don’t think they understand me, but it feels good to get that off my chest. Then, as though the frog people totally know I insulted them, they come straight at me with their weapons in hand, but the bright-blue light around me blocks them, preventing their approach.
“Get one free with a winner.”
I provoke them again. Oh, wow. They’re frantically charging. This Force Field does its job really well. The semitransparent blue walls surround me at right angles, but despite the frog people attempting to bash it in with their weapons, the barrier throws them back.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, I’ve created the ultimate indestructible vending machine!
[Points decreased by 1. Points decreased by 1. Points decreased by 1…]
W-wait a second! My points are draining like bathwater here! I need to spend points to maintain this Force Field?!
Hey, hold on, guys. I, uh, I hope you nice frog people decide to return to your homes real soon.
“Please come again.”
Crap, now their attacks have gotten wilder. But I didn’t even mean to provoke them. Whoa, my points are seriously dropping fast. I think it would be best if you all kindly gave up now, please!
