Along for the Ride
As I stare at the grassy fields and the clouds dotting the sky, she carries me…but I mustn’t think about that too hard.
About three hours after leaving early this morning, we stop to take a quick break.
The giant buar seems to still have some energy in it, and Lammis, who was running alongside it, isn’t showing any signs of tiredness, either. Once again, I’m in awe of her insane physical abilities.
A break didn’t seem necessary to me, but it’s apparently a bathroom break. There are more women than men in our group, so the place and timing for them to do their business must be the problem. They can’t go number one wherever they want and be done with it like men.
The issue is a realistic one for women that you wouldn’t have known from games. Wait, I think there was something suited for this very situation.
I scroll down to the bottom part of the features list and select it, pay the points, and acquire it. Then I immediately change into it.
I’ve already been placed to one side of the cart, but when they see my form change, the twins and the archer girl begin to gape. Have they never seen this before?
“Hey, Boxxo, are you going to show us a new feature…hmm? There’s something attached to your side now.”
As Hulemy says, I didn’t change my body this time—instead, a new object appeared next to me. It looks like a thin, tall locker, exactly the same height as I am.
The bottom of it is a waste bin. The upper part has a fixed covering, and when removed, there’s a folding chair, a cardboard box, and another long, thin cardboard box packed inside.
“What’s this? If Boxxo chose now to make it, it must mean something.”
“Welcome.”
“For now, let’s open it and take out what’s inside. Is that okay?”
“Welcome.”
Without fear, Hulemy begins to remove the contents. Lammis and the Menagerie of Fools watch her with bated breath.
“This is a folding chair. But why is there a hole where you sit down? It’s strange to the touch, and inside it, strange-feeling paper? Can I open it?”
“Welcome.”
“I’ll just keep going, so if you don’t want me to do something, tell me. Anyway, this paper is tough, and it looks like a bag.”
“Hey, Hulemy, doesn’t it look like that bag fits perfectly inside the hole in the chair?”
“Hmm… Oh, it’s just right. Good job, Lammis. We also have this huge, thin box. I’ll open this, too… There’s a clear bag inside, and then inside that is… Whoa!”
Hulemy brings it out, and it pops out to three times its length. It’s a fold-up tent, but the convenient kind where all you need to do is unfold it.
“Th-that’s a surprise. Its shape is fixed in advance, and just a touch reverts it to its original form? It might be a magic item.”
Despite her shock, her curiosity seems to win out, and after a wince, she manages to spread the tent out.
“An object like a tent the size for one person to fit inside. A chair with a hole in it and a bag… Hey, wait, is this a simple toilet?!” cries Hulemy, the eyes of all the women in the group lighting up.
Yes. This is a simple toilet for disaster sites, fixed to the sides of vending machines as a service for use during emergencies. In recent years, there was a serious toilet problem after a certain disaster occurred. As a free service, a vending machine manufacturer affixed boxes with simple toilets inside them to their machines.
There still weren’t very many, but I encourage the kind of goodwill in creating something like this, so if I saw one, I always bought something at it.
“This small tent can be closed up, so nobody can see. And if you close the bag after using it, the odor won’t escape, either.”
“I-is that true?!” cries the vice captain, Filmina, in an unusually loud tone, pressing Hulemy, who had explained it.
“Y-yeah. I don’t think there’s much doubt about it. There’s a scent coming from the thing at the bottom of the bag, which must be a deodorizer. Right, Boxxo?”
“Welcome.”
“See?”
The women of the group, eyes alight, rush to be the first to use the simple toilet. Hulemy goes in first to test it, and when she comes out with satisfaction on her face, they form a line.
“Boxxo, this is something else. There’s probably hunters out there who would pay for something like this.”
The women’s toilet situation here must be worse than I thought. This is a free disaster service, so I can’t take your money.
Well, after that, the hunters who used the toilet all thanked me and bought a drink, so I guess that’s fine.
“How do you like it? I’m the one who invited Boxxo, and now you get to use this handy little toilet. Go ahead—you can feel free to praise your captain some more!”
“This is Mr. Boxxo’s talent, not your achievement, Captain,” says Filmina flatly over her shoulder. The captain leaves, looking a bit sullen.
The simple toilet is a huge success, and after they use it, they dig a hole in the ground to bury the used bags in. I can also erase any products I’ve created at will, so in consideration for soil contamination, I destroy the bags—the waste will eventually degrade.
They fold the simple toilet set back up and place it on the cart. The disaster set, too, consumes points, so I’ll have them carry it instead of erasing it. Once the expedition is over, though, I’ll get it back from them.
“Let’s have an early lunch while we’re at it.”
Now, here’s where I really come in. I provide a wide assortment of products at half the price I offer them for in the settlement.
Normally, they would probably sell even if I set the prices to be a bit high, but the Menagerie of Fools promised a reward beforehand, so if I provide them this service, it should make a good advertisement for when Lammis does work as a hunter in the future.
“These hardened, fried grains are incredible!”
“Wait, really? This pasta is crazy rich in flavor, too.”
The two twin hunters are being friendly, sharing their food as they eat. One of them has red hair, and the other has white hair. I decide to dub them the red-and-white twins. In fact, the others simply call them Red and White.
“Wow, I never thought I’d be able to eat such delicious food on an expedition. I’m so glad I came!”
The archer girl’s hair is cut short enough to see the back of her neck; she looks like a man at first, but her voice is high-pitched, like a moe character in an anime.
Before her sits—or rather, sat—takoyaki, yakisoba, instant ramen, karaage, and a two-liter bottle of cola. Their contents are all empty now. Despite being so petite, she put it all away pretty easily. Even eating-contest champions would be surprised at her appetite.
“Shui’s appetite is huge, as usual. Thanks to you, Mr. Boxxo, we don’t have to worry about how much food we have left.” Vice Captain Filmina sighs, twirling a lock of her wavy blue hair with a finger. With a big eater like her, they probably have food shortages not long into any extended expeditions.
“You mean we don’t have to catch monsters and roast them this time?!”
“Oh, thank goodness… Thank goodness!”
The red-and-white twins hug, overjoyed. Have they been catching monsters to eat every time? The snake looked tasty, but the frog people? Come to think of it, when I first met Lammis, she was trying to catch a frog person for a meal.
The residents of this world must not have much resistance to eating monsters. When dining outdoors, the hunters generally have nothing more than provisions and seasoned herbs, so I can understand their admiration for a vending machine’s food.
Simple toilet or not, if I temporarily travel with teams of hunters and do business, it seems like I’ll be able to make significant profits. Manpower is needed to carry my vending machine body, so it would probably also lower the possibility of harm coming to Lammis.
But if I’m thinking about safety, then it would be best to belong to a group of talented hunters like this Menagerie of Fools… Hmm. Worrying over it won’t do me any good; Lammis is the one to decide that. I can’t give her a single word of advice, but I’ll be watching closely during this expedition to see exactly what kind of team they are.
My heartfelt resolution on the subject is all well and good, but there’s nothing in particular to do at the moment. We began proceeding again after our break, but the occasional appearances of frog people and a smaller—well, adult-size—double serpent met with a volley of arrows and water magic from afar.
Apart from that, a throwing knife occasionally launches off the top of the cart’s covering, where the captain is napping, sending a monster falling flat on its back, the knife hilt sticking out of its head like a horn.
They’re something else. I see why the younger hunters aspire to be like them. I got to see how they fight during the king-frog-fiend affair, but observing them in a relaxed situation makes me want to sigh in admiration.
The enemies never get close, so for now, the twins and Lammis have no chance to battle.
“Boxxo, do you think I should do something, too?” asks Lammis. “Should I throw rocks or something?”
Projectile weapons? She’s generally clumsy, but it could work with that excessive Might of hers. Do I have anything suitable for her to throw?
If I got her to wrap me in chains and fling me around, I’d expect some significant attack power, but Lammis would never do that.
Hmm—a throwing weapon. What about those nostalgic cans of soda from last time? Those have enough weight and hardness to them, so they should be strong. They fit your hand, too, so they must be easy to throw.
I’ve got nothing to lose by testing it. I stock the soda cans and drop one.
She’s carrying me facing forward right now, so despite the awkward pose, she can locate my compartment by reaching around. As she walks, she manages to pull it out.
“Hmm? This is the bubbly juice, right? Wait, there’s something different inside this one. It’s hard.”
“Maybe he’s telling you to throw it,” pipes in Hulemy, her head poking out of the cart.
It seems to click, and Lammis pounds her palm with a fist, nodding in understanding. Perfect timing, too—a frog human appeared in front of us, so she takes the can of juice in her hand, swings it around, and hurls it.
The can flies in a completely different direction, disappearing into some weeds. The frog person looks at her with a dubious shrug.
“Ugh, how frustrating!”
Her Might must still be too much for it. She can throw things, but as for her precision—well, I’m sure you can guess. She might as well throw me instead. I get the feeling that would be more accurate.
Anyway, after that, the frog person quite quickly finds the crown of its head pierced with an arrow and falls over. It doesn’t look like Lammis will get a turn for a while.
