May I Trade with These True Friends!
1
“I want some cash!” I mourned, agonized.
Cash, yeah. And plenty of it.
At the tavern in the building known as the Adventurers Guild…
I clutched my head with both hands, my face smooshed into the table.
“So does everybody. Myself included, of course! …Think about it. Isn’t this completely pathetic? Let’s say I—a goddess, remember!—was willing to live in a stable for the rest of my life; why would you let me? Wouldn’t you be ashamed to do that? If you understand, then make with the goods! Baby me!”
A beautiful young woman with light-blue hair harangued me as I sat there with my head in my hands.
She had good looks, if nothing else. Her name was Aqua, and allegedly she was some kind of goddess…
“…You don’t even know why I want the money, do you?”
“How should a pure, good-hearted, beautiful person like me know what goes through the dirty mind of some former hikikomori? You probably just want enough money to shut yourself away forever or something.”
“It’s debt!” I spat.
Aqua quivered slightly and looked away.
“Debt! The debts you’ve racked up wind up garnishing most of our reward for every single quest! It’s almost winter! This morning when I woke up inside my pile of straw, my eyebrows were frozen! All the other adventurers are already sleeping at the inn. What are we gonna do when it’s winter for real, huh? We’re gonna freeze to death on our haystacks, that’s what! Never mind defeating the Demon King and making it home—I just want to make it through the night!”
I pounded the table as I shouted at Aqua, who had covered her ears, closed her eyes, and turned around.
This world was home to people called adventurers.
Day and night, they battled the monsters that threatened the populace, saved their wages for a drink at the bar, and generally lived never knowing if they would survive to see tomorrow.
And even these people, who did everything by the seat of their pants, still managed to get themselves a place at an inn when winter came.
Part of the reason, unfortunately, was that most weaker monsters hibernated in winter, leaving only powerful opponents in the field.
Our base of operations was Axel, a town full of novice adventurers. For a bunch of amateurs who barely had hair on their chests, taking on winter monsters was a suicide mission.
Bam! Aqua leaned over and began her retort by pounding the table.
“Well—Well—What was I supposed to do?! Without my super-incredible performance back then, this town might have been destroyed! And they put me in debt?! They should be thanking me! That bill was unjustified! In fact, I’ll go protest to the receptionist here!”
“Hey, lay off, don’t bother the desk lady! …To be fair, they did give us a huge reward…even if they charged us enough to put us in the red right after that. ‘Sorry, we had to destroy part of the town in order to save it.’ You think they were gonna let us off scot-free?”
A general of the Demon King named Beldia had attacked this town.
The Demon King.
Just like the ones you’ve seen in manga, video games, everything. And one of his generals attacked us.
Aqua was able to weaken Beldia by exploiting his vulnerability with a deluge of water, after which I’d overwhelmed him with an irresistible technique, and we got out with no problem. Except…
“Whatever! You spent the whole fight running, then after I finally weakened that Dullahan, you just used Steal to get his head. You owe me more praise! More adulation! Where’s the kudos, the cheering, the coddling?! Everyone at this Guild should be all, We knew you could do it, O revered goddess!”
“You grandstanding idiot! You’ve been getting really full of yourself! Yes, I’ll admit you somehow pulled it off against the Dullahan. Fine! All the reward, all the praise, and all the debt are yours! So you can just pay back the whole thing by yourself!”
“Waaah! I’m sorry! I apologize for getting carried away; please don’t abandon me!”
Aqua wept and threw herself at me as I got up to leave the goddess of debt behind.
But someone called out to us:
“Really, do you two need to be at it first thing in the morning? Everyone’s…not looking. I see the whole Guild is already used to this…”
“You are here quite early. Is there any good work?”
The speakers were our companions: Darkness, our Crusader-cum–hardcore masochist, and Megumin, our terminally tweeny Arch-wizard.
Darkness brushed aside her long golden hair as she sat down. She was dressed in casual civilian clothes, her great sword at her hip. Megumin sat beside her, a Wizard with an eye patch covering one of her red eyes.
“Hey guys, made all your preparations? We haven’t found any work yet. I mean, under the circumstances, I figured there was no rush—we could wait till you got here.” As I spoke, I looked around the Guild Hall. Despite the early hour, there were adventurers drinking to their hearts’ content.
Some things were inevitable, right?
Everyone who had been part of the battle against the Demon King’s general had gotten a reward. Adventurers with overflowing purses had no reason to go out of their way to hunt dangerous winter monsters.
As a result, we could have our pick of quests from the Guild’s board…
I went over to the board to see if there was anything good.
“Let’s see… Plenty of good payouts, but no quests that seem really worthwhile…”
Take out a pack of white wolves that has been attacking a farm. Reward: 1 million eris.
A One-Punch Bear has come out of hibernation and is living in a field—kill it. Reward: 2 million eris. Chase it off. Reward: 500,000 eris.
No way could we handle a pack of wolves. They were bigger than dogs, faster, and if they all came at us at once, we’d be done for.
And bears were out of the question. What if it attacked Megumin or me? Heck, we’d probably be finished if it gave us a pat on the head. I didn’t want anything to do with a creature with a name like One-Punch Bear, anyway.
“What’s this? ‘Mobile Fortress Destroyer is in the vicinity. Seeking scouts to investigate its likely path.’ Huh? What’s Destroyer?”
“Destroyer is—It’s Destroyer,” Darkness said. “You know, fast, mobile…a fortress.”
“It moves like vwoosh, vwoosh,” added Megumin, “and tramples over everything in its path. Also it is strangely popular with children.”
I see. I don’t get it.
I let the girls’ explanations go out my other ear and resumed my search for work.
What was left was—
“Hey, what about this? Hunting Snow Sprites? That doesn’t sound very threatening.”
Every Snow Sprite you took out would net you a hundred thousand eris.
That was a fairly lucrative reward compared to those for the creatures we’d fought in the past, but its name wasn’t very intimidating, unlike wolves and bears.
“Snow Sprites are very weak monsters. Snowy fields are supposed to be heavily populated with them, and I hear you can slice them easily with a sword. But…”
Before Megumin could finish, I tore the piece of paper off the board. As I took the notice, Aqua joined in.
“Snow Sprite hunting? Snow Sprites aren’t particularly dangerous to people, but they say each time one dies, spring comes half a day sooner. If you’re going on that quest, let me just get ready,” and with a Hang on! she disappeared somewhere.
Megumin didn’t seem to have any objections to our taking on the quest.
Darkness muttered quietly, “Snow Sprites…?”
I figured our hardcore masochist of a Crusader would be the one to complain. She always wanted to tangle with some powerful monster.
But for some reason, she seemed almost happy.
While we waited, I had a bad feeling about Darkness’s mood. But we set off on our hunt as soon as Aqua got back.
2
In a field off away from town.
I was pretty sure there hadn’t been any snow in town yet, but this place—and this place only—shone white with it.
Then there were what must have been the Snow Sprites—fluffy white balls about the size of my palm—drifting here and here.
They sure didn’t look dangerous.
So what made them worth a hundred thousand eris apiece?
There was that legend that spring would come a few hours sooner each time one of these creatures perished. Maybe some people who really couldn’t wait for spring got together to offer a lavish reward.
After all, who said the monster had to be powerful just because the quest boasted a big payout?
Say you had an average monster that was ripping up fields but wasn’t a danger to people, and one that was weak but loved fighting and would actively attack people. Of course the bounty would be higher on the weak but vicious one.
Yes, the price on the Sprites bothered me, but something else bothered me even more.
“…Can’t you do something about that outfit?”
It was the middle of winter, and there was Aqua with a bug net and some small bottles, like a dumb kid about to go bug hunting.
Aqua looked at me with the kind of duh expression you would give a total moron.
Why, this little…!
“We catch some Snow Sprites and put them in these bottles. Then we put the bottles in a box with our drinks. We’ll be able to have ice-cold Neroid any time we want! In other words, I’m inventing the refrigerator! What do you think? Smart, huh?”
I could see this going wrong somehow. But it was her idea, and she could do what she wanted.
And……
“Hey, you—where’s your armor?”
“In the shop.”
As if Aqua wasn’t enough, our party’s one-woman wall, Darkness, was still in her civilian clothes, no armor, just her sword at her side.
“Yeah, the Demon King’s general gave your armor a pretty good beating, didn’t he? But are you sure you’re going to be all right like that? Ehh, I guess it doesn’t look like Snow Sprites are much for attacking, anyway.”
“It’s no problem. A little chilly, but I can just treat it like a test of my endurance…”
Dressed in only her tight black skirt and black shirt, Darkness stood there panting and looking pretty cold.
Or maybe this perv was one of those people who’s always feeling hot. Maybe it melted her brain, too.
We collected ourselves and began the hunt.
“Megumin, Darkness! Get the one that went that way! Stay still, darn it!”
The Snow Sprites had drifted about lazily when we kept our distance, but as soon as we moved in for the attack, they started darting away.
It was hard to land a hit on them.
Well, they were worth a hundred thousand each. It couldn’t be too easy.
I brought down my third or fourth Sprite, then let out a breath.
“I caught my fourth one! Look, Kazuma! Look at all of them!”
When I glanced toward Aqua’s giddy shout, she was shoving a captured Snow Sprite into a bottle.
…Maybe I should’ve brought a net instead of my sword.
If we couldn’t take down enough Sprites in the field, we could always finish off the ones in Aqua’s jars.
“Kazuma, Darkness and I are chasing these Sprites around, but they are agile and hard to hit… Can I please just clear this field with Explosion?” Megumin asked, panting. She had finally managed to give one Sprite a knock with her staff after she and Darkness had chased it up and down the plain.
I’d been worried we might run into the wolves or the bear from the other quests, but my Sense Foe skill was always working, and if I felt anything, we could just run away.
“Fine, go for it, Megumin. Let’s clean up this place.”
Megumin gave me a thrilled look and began to chant—
Megumin’s ultimate magic spell, which she could use only once per day, enveloped the snowy field.
The shock wave rattled the cold, dry air, and along with the roar of the blast, we could see bare earth where a crater had formed in the middle of the field.
Megumin flopped down, now altogether out of magic, but she still managed to triumphantly show us her Adventurer’s Card.
“Eight! I took out eight of them. I have leveled up!”
Hey, way to go.
Though she would’ve looked more impressive if she wasn’t facedown in the snow.
That made three for me and nine for Megumin. Altogether, we’d taken out twelve so far. Counting the ones Aqua had captured, we had sixteen, or 1.6 million eris.
That worked out to four hundred thousand per person.
And it hadn’t even been an hour.
This was the dreaded winter hunting?
Why wasn’t anyone else getting in on these weak and oh-so-profitable monsters?
At that moment, as if in answer to my question…
“Ah, there he is!”
Darkness took one look and then entered her stance, sword out and a small satisfied smile on her face.
He almost burst onto the scene, so fast my Sense Foe ability wasn’t able to warn me in time to get us out of there.
“…” Megumin, flush with victory just a moment ago, stayed silently on the ground and tried to play dead.
“…Kazuma. Let me tell you why adventurers stop taking on quests in the winter.” Aqua backed up a step, never taking her eyes off the thing.
The thing that had all our attention took one gliding step forward.
“You’ve lived in Japan. Surely you’ve at least heard his name on the weather forecasts this time of year?”
His entire body was clad in thick white armor, and he exuded an unmitigated desire to kill us.
Yeah, I was Japanese. I knew who he was at the first glance, even before Aqua had said anything.
One look at that outrageous character, and I didn’t need Aqua to fill me in. But I waited anyway.
“Lord of the snow spirits, spoken of in tales of winter…”
He was wearing a big white samurai-style helmet and an immensely intricate warrior’s surcoat.
Freezing mist drifted from the blade in the white-masked swordsman’s grasp.
Aqua’s face was sober as she murmured:
“It’s General Winter. He has come.”
“Idiots! This whole stinking world! People and food and monsters—all complete idiots!”
The blade of the sword gleamed sharp as a razor. And then General Winter attacked.
3
Armor of purest white.
That’s kind of a dumb color for armor, but it did nothing to diminish the splendor of the Warring States–era armor.
The intricate design on his surcoat was covered in ice.
You didn’t have to get close to the katana with its cloud of freezing mist to see it had a cruel cutting edge.
General Winter boasted an intense presence and bloodlust as he took his stance, sword upright next to his head.
The naked blade glinted in the sun—and then the general leaped at his nearest foe, Darkness!
“Hrk?!”
Darkness made to block the move with her great sword, but—
With a clear ringing sound, her sword, which had withstood even Beldia’s most violent attacks, was cut clean in half.
“Aaah! M-my sword—!”
Aqua was trying to put some distance between herself and the battle between Darkness and General Winter.
“General Winter,” she said. “A monster specifically targeted by the State for a huge bounty. He’s the spirit of winter itself… Spirits don’t have one ‘true’ body. They reach into the subconscious of the people they meet and draw on that for the form they take. A fire spirit might appear as a rampaging fire salamander, because we picture fire as an all-consuming inferno. A water spirit might pick up on the image of a pure, awesome, brilliant, gorgeous water goddess and appear as a beautiful woman… But the spirit of winter is sort of an exception. All the powerful monsters keep even adventurers inside in the winter, never mind the townspeople, so hardly anyone ever meets the spirit of winter…unless they came here from Japan with some kind of power-up.”
Aqua filled me in on the winter spirit even as she clutched her bottle full of Snow Sprites.
A white cloud of mist rushed from the mouth of the spirit’s mask, almost like fogging breath.
I stood next to Darkness with her shattered sword, keeping my own blade raised toward the general.
“You’re saying this guy is here because some Japanese jerk came to this world and had to be all, Oh, winter! Like General Winter?! What a pain; what are we supposed to do? How do you fight the spirit of winter?!”
Frankly, I didn’t feel like we had the slightest chance of winning against the monster in front of us.
It might look like the armor of a human warrior, but apparently it was a spirit in corporeal form. I doubted things would somehow just work themselves out with a swipe of my sword.
Megumin, our last ray of hope, had already used her magic for the day.
In fact, she was still on the ground, playing dead. When this battle was over, maybe I’d step on her.
Aqua opened the lid of her bottle and freed the Snow Sprites she’d worked so hard to catch.
“Kazuma, listen! The winter spirit is a generous one! If we apologize from the bottoms of our hearts, he’ll let us go!”
No sooner had she spoken than Aqua flung herself to the snowy ground.
“Kowtow, everybody!” she cried. “Come on, bow! Hurry, everyone, lay down your weapons! Apologize! Quick, Kazuma, apologize!!”
The former whatever-whatever threw aside her pride and shoved her forehead into the snow. It was a pretty impressive kowtow.
I felt somehow refreshed to see Aqua so readily humbling herself and Megumin doing a perfect impression of roadkill.
It was true: General Winter stopped looking at the prostrate Aqua.
Which meant he did even more looking at Darkness and me.
It didn’t take much of a glance from him to convince me to throw myself to my knees—!
…Darkness, however, was still standing next to me.
“Hey, what’re you doing? Get down here!”
Darkness had cast away the sundered pieces of her sword and was looking balefully at General Winter.
“Hrr! Even I have my pride as a Crusader—a Paladin! For a Knight like me to bow my head to a monster, just because I’m a little frightened—! Even if no one saw me do it, still…!”
Great. I reached up with my left hand and dragged her head down.
“You’re always running straight after some monster, and now you get a sense of pride?”
“S-stoppit! Hrr! What reward is there in being forced to bow the head I refuse to bow, in having my face forced to the earth?” She was panting. “Ahh, the snow chills…!”
I kept my own head down as I pressed her pervy face to the ground. Her cheeks were red. She was only pretending to resist.
I peeked up to see what General Winter was doing: He had already sheathed his sword.
I breathed a sigh of relief and kept my head dow—
Aqua shouted shrilly at me:
“Kazuma, your weapon! Your weapon! Get rid of the sword you’re holding!”
With my face pushed into the freezing grass, I suddenly remembered that I was still holding my sword in my right hand. I tossed it away in a panic.
In the effort, I couldn’t help but raise my head…
As my head came up, my eyes met the sight of General Winter, his left hand resting on his sheathed sword.
I could see that his thumb had nudged out the hilt, exposing just a bit of the blade.
He was preparing to draw and cut.
His empty right hand seemed to go fuzzy for an instant.
Then I heard a soft ching.
It seemed to be the sound of the sword being returned to its scabbard.
I was confused: With the sound still ringing in my ears, my eyes went from General Winter, where I’d accidentally put them, to the snow-covered ground, and then the white earth came closer and closer…
4
I remembered it perfectly.
General Winter had killed me.
“Oh…sorry. I kind of lost it there. Guess you’re not seeing my best side.”
I looked away, embarrassed to have burst into tears in front of a goddess in this pure white temple.
But the goddess, who had called herself Eris, shook her head with a sorrowful look and said, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You lost your precious life…”
As she spoke, she closed her eyes sadly, as if she was concerned for me.
“Um, can I ask you something? What happened to that monster after he killed me?”
I was afraid the others might have thrown themselves at the creature to try to get revenge after he’d done me in.
“Things are well. After he cut you down, General Winter vanished.”
I sighed, feeling a burden lift.
Eris looked mournfully at me then.
“Mr. Kazuma Satou… For something like this to happen to you, after you so kindly came to this world from your peaceful home in Japan… Brave visitor from another world. At least, by my power, may your next life be in your serene home country, with a wealthy family, where you will want for nothing. I shall send you to a place where you can live a happy life.”
Eris’s words reminded me.
When you died, you could either go to Heaven or start over as a baby.
It had been an exception to the rule that I’d gotten to take a mulligan in this bizarre world.
I hadn’t lasted long, but I’d actually kind of enjoyed it, by the end.
I would never see that obnoxious bunch again. And that made me a little…
Well, just a little, but…it made me sad.
Maybe Eris could see it on my face, because she turned her sorrowful eyes to me again.
Then she held her right hand over my head…
All right, Kazuma, come back! What are you doing getting killed in a place like this?! You can’t die yet!
Suddenly, I heard Aqua’s voice.
It boomed in our chamber, followed by a sort of Doppler-shifted echo.
I gave a confused shout of my own. “Wai—Wh-what’s that?!”
It seemed I wasn’t the only one who was perplexed.
“Wha…? That voice—is that my senior, Aqua?! I thought that priestess looked like her, but—don’t tell me it really was her?!” Eris exclaimed into empty space. Her eyes had gone wide, and she wore an expression of disbelief.
Aqua’s voice came again.
Hey, Kazuma, can you hear me? I cast a spell called Resurrection on your body, so you can come back now! You’re probably standing in front of a goddess, right? Have her produce a gate to us.
Whoa! No way, Goddess—you can really do that?!
Come to think of it, she’d brought back those adventurers the Dullahan had killed, hadn’t she!
“Right, hang on, Aqua! I’m headed your way!”
I didn’t know if she could hear my voice, but I shouted back into the empty space anyway and jumped for joy.
“W-w-w-wait just a minute! That is not how it works! I’m very sorry, but you’ve already come back to life once, and under the Heavenly Rules, you can’t do it again! I’m afraid you, with your personal connection to my senior, are the only one who can speak to her on the other side, so could you please let her know for me?”
Eris seemed a bit panicked.
Aw, seriously? Guess I jumped for joy too soon.
I faced the empty space and called out:
“Hey, Aqua, can you hear me?! She says I’ve already come back to life once, so I can’t do it again! Divine rules or something!”
There was an instant of silen—
Huh? What goddess fed you that line? Tell me who you are! I’m an elite goddess, responsible for Japan! You think I’m going to take lip from some local deity like you?!
Sheesh, Aqua, cut it out.
The “local deity” in front of me wore a pinched expression.
“Um, she says her name is Eris…,” I timidly replied to Aqua.
Aqua screamed back hysterically:
Eris?! You mean the Eris who let a little national worship go to her head and is so overrated they even name their currency after her? That Eris? Hey, Kazuma, if she tries to give you any more guff, you go ahead and pull the padding right out of her shir—
“All right! I give! We’ll call this a special case! I’m opening a gate right now!”
Eris, blushing furiously, cut off Aqua’s tirade with a snap of her fingers.
As if at her signal, a plain white door appeared in front of me.
I thought I could hear Eris muttering something about Aqua being as unbearable as ever.
“This door leads to your current world… You know this is highly unusual, right? Normally no one gets to be magicked back to life more than once, prince or pauper. Geez. You said your name was Kazuma?”
“Oh, uh, yes, ma’am!” I answered, my voice shrill.
Next to our bumbling deity, this goddess seemed like the real thing.
Not to mention she was gorgeous, which only made me more nervous.
She had looked at me sadly throughout our conversation, but now she bit her lip, troubled.
Finally she gave me an impish wink and whispered, somehow cheerfully:
“This is our little secret, okay?”
I gave her a thin smile and pushed open the door…
5
I could hear a voice from far away…
“…zuma! Kazuma!! Please wake up! Kazuma!”
It was Megumin, clutching me and crying.
…?
Huh? My right hand was warm.
I glanced at it and found Darkness crouching to my right and clasping my hand in both of hers, eyes closed as if in prayer.
I felt something looming over me and focused my gaze upward…
…and met the eyes of Aqua, who was looking down at me.
“Finally awake, huh? That girl was always so stubborn.”
As I listened to her, I began to notice that the back of my head was warm.
…Oh.
I guess my head was resting on Aqua’s knees.
Megumin and Darkness saw I had opened my eyes, and both of them hugged me wordlessly.
It was great that they were so happy to have me back, but man, this was kind of awkward—!
Aqua realized I was frozen with embarrassment, and she gave a smirk.
Sheesh. I should’ve left them here and just gotten myself reborn as a rich kid in Japan.
“Hey, Kazuma, don’t just lie there blushing. Say something! Don’t you have anything to say to us?” said Aqua, still smirking.
I don’t suppose I could exchange this useless goddess for the cute one I was with just a moment ago?
I looked up at Aqua and said three words.
“I wanna trade.”
“Have it your way, you damned NEET! You want to see her so badly? I’ll send you back there right now!”
“S-stop! You can’t beat up someone who’s just come back from the dead! What are you, the goddess of violence?!”
A vein bulged on Aqua’s forehead as she held me down with one hand and made to punch me with the other.
Darkness held her back with a now, now, and I sat up, checking my body for any signs of its encounter with General Winter.
“How are you doing?” Megumin asked. “No problems anywhere?”
I patted myself down once more.
“Looks like I’m fine. Hey, how did I die, anyway?”
Aqua answered, “General Winter chopped off your head. It was a great cut. Which made it easy to reattach your head, by the way. I was able to get back some of your blood, too, but you’re still a little low, so take it easy for a while or you’ll get anemic, okay? Stay off our front line. If you lose any more blood, well, I can’t make any promises.”
“Chopped off my—!”
Hardly able to speak, I felt my neck.
No matter how many times I checked, though, there didn’t seem to be any scar.
Some of the snowy field had been dyed red with my blood, and more of it had spattered on Darkness beside me.
Aqua had brought me back, sure, but dying still didn’t appeal to me.
Winter here meant scarce food and a harsh environment. The only ones who should be out in it were the monsters who could win the battle for survival even under those conditions.
In other words, there were no nice, easy quests for novices like us.
Know what? Let’s go back to town for today.
6
As soon as we got to town, we headed to the Guild to collect our reward.
“Boy, twelve Sprites in less than an hour: 1.2 million… That’s a pretty good take, but I guess no amount of profit makes it worth dying. You said General Winter has a special bounty on his head, right? I wonder how much he’d bring in. He cracked Darkness’s sword in one hit. He’s stronger than Beldia, and he was worth three hundred million.”
“General Winter will leave you alone if you do not touch the Snow Sprites. Still, he must be worth around two hundred million eris. Beldia was worth more because, as a general of the Demon King, he was not only powerful but a clear and present danger to humanity. General Winter is not a very aggressive monster, so he is worth less. Even so, two hundred million implies he is no easy foe.”
I fell silent at Megumin’s explanation.
Two hundred million…
That would be enough to pay off our debts, buy a house, and still have some money left over for fun.
“Megumin, could you use Explos—”
“Explosion won’t work on General Winter. He appears in a human form, but he is a spirit. Spirits are fundamentally a sort of mass of magic with no corporeal form. And the leaders of these spirits have incredible Magic Defense. Explosion can certainly damage a creature of any type, but it would be difficult to stop a spirit with one blast…not that I would want to attempt an explosion against such a frightening opponent.”
No go, huh? Seeing my dejected expression, a satisfied smile came over Aqua’s face.
“Heh-heh! Kazuma, don’t look so down. I wasn’t just kowtowing to the general, you know. Look at this!”
As she spoke, she pulled out a small jar.
Inside was a Snow Sprite.
Apparently she hadn’t let out all of them during the battle. There was one left.
“Whoa! Way to go, Aqua! All right, give it here; let me finish it off!”
I reached for the jar as I praised Aqua’s unusually clever turn.
“Huh? N-no way! I’m taking this one home to use as a refrigerator! So we can have ice-cold Neroid even in the middle of summer… No! This one’s miiine! I’ve even given it a name! I won’t let you kill it! Stop! Stop it!”
She hugged the jar tightly, crouching back and putting up far more of a fight than I’d expected.
Man! We could have gotten a hundred thousand for that thing if we did it in…
But I guess Aqua had brought me back to life today. Much as I hated to leave a bird in the bush, I’d let it go this time.
We cashed out our reward, then divvied up what was left after it was garnished to pay our debt.
It was a little early, but we’d gotten a pretty good payday, so I figured on getting a room at the inn and letting my body rest. I didn’t want to overdo it, having just come back from the dead and all.
Although… Well, it was a good amount for a day’s work, but compared to our debt, it was a drop in the ocean.
My calculations confronted me directly with our grim reality, and as a sort of escape, I began to think about Eris, the goddess I’d met earlier that day.
She sure was a trim, beautiful woman. Not to mention pretty good-hearted.
She had seemed genuinely grieved that I had died, and then there was that sweet smile as she’d told me to keep it secret that she’d let me come back again.
I felt like I’d met my first real potential love interest since coming to this world.
Picturing Eris’s face, I arrived at the inn before I knew it.
“Hee-hee! I’m gonna take good care of you, Snow Sprite. And when summer comes, we’ll be rolling in ice! You and I are gonna open a shaved-ice shop together! You can be by my pillow when the summer heat makes it hard to sleep… Hey, Megumin, what do Snow Sprites eat, anyway?”
“I do not think anyone exactly knows. Do they even eat at all?”
“It looks so fluffy and soft,” Darkness said. “I’m sure if you sprinkled some sugar on it and popped it in your mouth, it’d be delicious…”
So went their altogether unappetizing deliberations behind me.
As we reached the inn’s door, I looked back at them.
I pictured Eris’s pure form again.
Then I looked at the faces of my companions. All three looked back quizzically. They were silent, staring at me blankly.
“Sigh…”
“Ah!” they all exclaimed at once.
With the girls’ commotion roaring behind me, I opened the door.
7
Several days after I had been killed…
“Hey, what did you say?”
I somehow held back my rage as I spoke to the guy in the now-silent Guild Hall.
Having just recently died for the second time, I had planned to take a few days to rest my body and see to my mental state.
And then today happened. I was still under orders not to do any strenuous physical activity, so I’d come to the Guild to see if there wasn’t any work that involved some nice, easy lifting or something…
“C’mon, lifting or something? Your party is stuffed with advanced classes, so why don’t you take on some real work? You must be a real ball and chain for them, huh, Mr. I’m-the-weakest-class?”
The guy looked like a warrior, and as he spoke, he exchanged a hearty snicker with his tablemates.
Just ignore him.
I was a grown man, and I could act like an adult. After the crap Aqua would say to me every day, I wasn’t going to let some run-of-the-mill barfly get a rise out of me.
Granted, there was some logic to his words.
My companions might all have their bizarre quirks, but they were still advanced classes.
If we were a bit more effective as a group, maybe our financial outlook would be a little better.
And yes, I was an adventurer, the lowest class.
I really had no comeback for him at that moment.
But the guy seemed to take my refusal to say anything as my inability to say anything under his withering assault.
“Hey, why don’tcha say something, weakling? Geez, you go around with three fine ladies like you want a harem—and all of them advanced classes! I’ll bet you take good care of them every day, huh!”
The whole Guild erupted in laughter.
Some of those familiar with my history, however, frowned and took on cautious looks.
I unconsciously clenched my fist, but just having around a few people like that helped me to bear it. I could endure.
As I stood there, enduring, Megumin, Darkness, and Aqua jumped in to hold me back.
“Kazuma, you must not sink to his level. I do not care, whatever he says about me.”
“She’s right, Kazuma. He’s just some drunk. Ignore him.”
“Yeah! He’s just jealous ’cause you’ve got us with you! I don’t care at all; just forget about him!”
They were right. This guy was a stereotypical punk. You saw his type in manga all the time.
There was no need to get into it with him.
I gritted my teeth and tried to bear it, but then the guy said something I couldn’t ignore.
“How nice for you, piggybacking on your powerful friends! Sure wish I could be like you—never having to work for anything! Hey, how’s about you and I switch places?”
“Hey, how’s about we DO!!!” I bellowed.
The hall went silent.
The warrior who had been ridiculing me made a dumb sound, his mug still in his hand.
“I said, sure! I’ll switch with you! I’ve been just listening to you spew BS all this time—Yes! I’m the weakest class! I admit it! But then! Tell me what you said next!”
“K…Kazuma?”
Aqua spoke with a hint of panic, alarmed by my sudden outburst.
Then the guy jumped in, as if to goad me along.
“A-after that? After that I said…I said you had three fine ladies with you and you must want a harem…”
I slammed my fist onto the table, making everyone in the hall jump.
“Fine ladies?! A harem?! What, have you got marbles for eyes?! You see any fine ladies here? Maybe I’m crazy, but I sure don’t! Hey, how about we trade crazy for blind?!”
“Wh-what?!”
All three of my party members pointed to themselves and muttered as I spoke.
“Where are all these fine ladies you’re talking about?! Huh? You wish you could be like me?! Isn’t that what you said?!”
I had the guy by the collar when an anxious voice came from behind me:
“U-um…”
Aqua was trying to squeak something out as she tremblingly raised her right hand, as if she was the spokesperson for the three of them.
I ignored her and went on:
“And what came after that, huh? Something about piggybacking on my powerful friends? Never having to work for anything?!”
“I—I’m s-sorry about that… I’m just d-drunk; I g-got carried away… B-but it’s—The grass is always greener, y’know? You look downright blessed… You said you’d switch with me, right? How about one day? Change places with me for just one day, Mr. Adventurer! Hey, you guys okay with that?”
He looked to the others sitting at his table for confirmation.
“Don’t make much difference to me… Today’s just a goblin-hunting quest, anyway.”
“I don’t mind. But, Dust? Don’t get so comfortable in your new party that you never come back!”
“Me neither. They’re just goblins; one more kid won’t matter. You’d better bring back some good stories, though.”
Each of the guy’s companions answered in turn.
“Hey, Kazuma,” Aqua said, “that’s well and good for them, but doesn’t our opinion count for anything?”
“Nope,” I said, turning to my new party. “Hey, I’m Kazuma. Thanks for taking me on—even if it’s just for a day.”
“Y-yeah,” the guy’s friends answered. They seemed to be at a bit of a loss.
8
A man holding a sword and shield and wearing heavy armor took stock of me and said:
“I’m Taylor. I’m a Crusader with a focus on single-handed swords. I’m sort of the leader. You’re a member of our party for the day—even if it was kind of an accident—so I expect you to do what I say.”
“Sure thing. You know, I’m normally the one who gives the orders in my group, so it’ll be a nice change of pace to let someone else handle things. Looking forward to it.”
Taylor seemed a little surprised at my response.
“You’re telling me you had a party full of advanced classes, and the Adventurer was their leader?”
“Yup.”
I nodded like it was no big deal, but the three of them were speechless.
Next was a girl who still had an air of youth about her, draped in a blue mantle.
“I’m Rin. I’m a Wizard, as you can probably guess. I’ve mastered Intermediate Magic. Nice to be working with you! I don’t think a few goblins should be any problem. I’ll protect you—our little novice!”
She giggled. She was treating me like some kid.
I was pretty sure I was older than her. But if she really was a Wizard, that was comforting. I would happily let her protect me.
“And I’m Keith. I’m an Archer, and I don’t miss. Anyway, good to have you on board, I guess.”
He smiled as he spoke, a bow slung over his back. He seemed the flippant type.
“Nice to meet you all. I’m Kazuma. I’m an Adventurer… Should I, uh, tell you what I’m good at or anything?”
The three of them burst out laughing.
“Eh, doesn’t matter. You were looking for porter work anyway, right? Well, carry our stuff. The three of us will be plenty to take out a few goblins. And don’t worry—you’ll get your share of the reward.”
I had a sense Taylor was teasing me, but I didn’t care.
I’d been accused of riding on the coattails of my more powerful party members, but a reward just for hauling around some luggage? That was easier than anything I’d done so far. Were they sure about this?
Well, it was his idea. I wasn’t going to argue.
That was when I heard a familiar voice from over by the quest board.
“What? Goblin-slaying? Why are those even showing up near town? Why not do, y’know, something big—something profitable? Kazuma’s only rented out for one day; we should take it to show him how grateful he should be to have us!”
It sounded like Aqua was already making a nuisance of herself for the guy who’d switched with me.
“L-let’s not. I know you guys are really powerful, but I’m nowhere close! An Arch-priest, an Arch-wizard, and a Crusader… I’m sure the three of you could take on any opponent no problem, but let’s stick to something simpler this time, all right? …By the way, where are your weapons and armor? You’re not really going out like that?”
“It’s fine. I trust in my sturdiness, and even if I had a weapon, I couldn’t hit anything with it.”
“Couldn’t hit anything? I mean, you… Hmm, a-all right…”
As I listened to him go back and forth with Darkness, I noticed him say this time. What, did he think there was going to be a next time?
Not that I cared. Not at all.
Taylor stood, keeping one eye on what was happening in the other party.
“We don’t normally work in winter. But some nice, tasty goblin-slaying fell right into our laps, so today we’re going to clear them off the mountain road. If we leave now, we can be back before midnight. All right, new kid, let’s move out.”
9
Goblins.
They were a major monster type. Even in my world, everyone had heard of them, so of course they had in this one.
But these goblins, apparently, weren’t the small-fry creatures of video games but foes who posed a surprisingly serious threat to the populace.
Individual goblins were not that powerful, but they generally traveled in packs and used weapons.
They were a sort of wild demi-human: quick-moving, small but violent, and carrying a reputation for attacking people and livestock.
Typically they lived in the woods, but recently, for some reason, they had taken up residence along a mountain road that led to the next town.
We were wandering through a field on the way to the mountain.
“I wonder what would cause goblins to live out here, anyway? Well, it means for once we get a nice, cushy goblin-slaying job!”
Goblins were worth two hundred thousand eris each.
I had no idea how strong they were, but if Rin said it was a cushy job, then it probably was.
And I could get in on it just by trotting behind these three with the bags.
This was maybe the first time I’d ever had such easy, stress-free work.
If I had been with my normal party, the girls probably would have started squabbling or found some fresh danger before we were halfway there, but today we arrived at the mountain with no problems.
This wasn’t a lush green mountain like you’d find in Japan, though. Its face was bare, brown, and rocky. A little brush was the extent of the flora here, and I wondered why goblins would settle in a place with so few resources.
With my usual companions, this was about the point where I would start wondering how things would go wrong, but today I only had a profound sense of ease.
No doubt it was because I finally had a real party with me.
Taylor came to a halt and opened a map.
“To get to where the goblins were sighted, we have to climb to the top of this mountain road, then descend a little bit. The road is lined with the kind of caves goblins love. So keep your guard up.”
I actually felt a little rush of excitement at Taylor’s words.
This was it! This was how being an adventurer was supposed to go!
I want to charge right into the midst of the enemy! I want to set off a magical explosion! I want to go home and drink! I knew those weren’t normal things for adventurers to say!
Everyone looked wordlessly at one another and nodded.
The mountain road never branched; it was a single narrow path that wound past dangerously jagged peaks.
It was wide enough for five or six people to walk abreast, but a craggy mountainside that might as well have been a wall bordered one side, and the other side ran along a sheer cliff.
As we moved silently up the road, I suddenly noticed—
“Something’s coming this way. It set off my Sense Foe ability. But there’s only one.”
My skill had been alerted to the presence of an enemy, but only one.
Weren’t goblins supposed to travel in hordes?
The three others looked at me in surprise.
“Kazuma, you have Sense Foe? Wait—what do you mean, only one? It’s not a goblin, then. There aren’t supposed to be any monsters around here powerful enough to act alone, but… Well, there’s only one path. And it’ll spot us in a second if we try to hide in those bushes. Do we fight?”
Taylor raised his shield as he spoke, but…
“No, I think we’d be fine in those bushes. I have Ambush. Its effect extends to any party members touching the user. We’ve got this great hiding place right here, so why not use it?”
Even more surprised now, the three of them obligingly hid in the bushes.
I’d expected nothing less from an experienced party like this.
When you knew nothing about your opponent, avoiding battle and assessing the situation was Adventuring 101.
Vigilance was nothing to be ashamed of. It was the guy who threw caution to the wind and got himself killed who ought to feel bad.
As we crouched in the bushes, I was thinking to myself that my usual party would never have just hidden so readily, when…
It came.
A huge catlike creature.
Bigger than a lion or tiger, its body was covered in black fur, and it had two long fangs like a sabertooth’s.
It was sensitive enough that it had noticed the ground we’d been standing on just a moment earlier, and it was sniffing the area.
Rin took one look and covered her mouth with her hand.
Maybe she had been about to let out a terrified shriek.
I felt all three of their hands on me tighten, perhaps from fear.
If these three were this worried, that thing must be pretty dangerous.
The monster went on sniffing for a moment, then finally disappeared the way we’d come, down the road to town.
“Yiiiikes! Th-th-that was scary! That was the Beginner’s Bane! The Beginner’s Bane!” Rin said with tears in her eyes.
I guess I was right about it being a nasty enemy.
“I—I thought I was gonna have a heart attack,” Keith said. “Y-you saved our skins… That’s why the goblins are here. The Beginner’s Bane chased them here.”
“Y-yeah,” said Taylor. “But this is trouble. He went back toward town. We can’t run home now.”
“Is that cat really that big a deal?”
The three of them gave me disbelieving looks, as if astonished I didn’t already know.
“The Beginner’s Bane. He hangs out near goblins and kobolds, monsters that are considered easy pickings for novice adventurers, then preys on the rookies who come to get them. He uses them as bait. And he periodically chases the goblins around so that they don’t get too comfortable, and so he can change his hunting grounds. He’s smart, and he’s dangerous.”
“Man, that is scary.”
Who knew there were such intelligent monsters around here?
I wondered if it was contagious. Maybe I should boil that creature’s claws and make Aqua drink them to see if there was any improvement.
“Well, let’s take care of those goblins, then. The Beginner’s Bane usually protects his bait from adventurers’ attacks. If we eliminate the goblins and then hide again, maybe he’ll smell the blood and go past us just like he did this time. Kazuma’s Sense Foe will let us know if he gets close. And it beats crouching in these bushes forever, waiting to see if he’ll come back. Let’s make for our objective.”
At Taylor’s suggestion, I stepped out of the bushes.
As I did so, Rin took some of the luggage from my back.
“If we run into the Beginner’s Bane and we have to scatter, we want Kazuma to be light enough to move, too. I’ll take some of the baggage. B-but I’ll be counting on your Sense Foe and Ambush skills, okay?”
She hefted the bag onto her back as she spoke.
At Rin’s words, Taylor and Keith both hurried to take their packs from me.
“W-we’re not counting on you or whatever, though, all right?” they said.
Fancy that. I’d picked up some catty secret admirers.
10
Since the Beginner’s Bane showed no sign of returning, we crept up the mountain road until we found the descent Taylor’s map had indicated.
Apparently the goblins had been sighted around here.
Taylor looked back at me.
“How is it, Kazuma? Is your Sense Foe reacting?”
Oh, yeah. Plenty.
“There’s a bunch of them, just down the path and around that corner. For now, I don’t sense the Beginner’s Bane coming back up the path from behind us.”
But there were a lot of them. More than you could count on two hands.
So many, in fact, that I started to lose count.
“A bunch of them? That’s got to be the goblins,” Keith said lightly. “They’re pack animals.”
“I’m not sure,” I said with a touch of unease. “I’ve never fought goblins before, but are their hordes usually this big? How many would you say is normal? I can sense more of them than I can count.”
My anxiety seemed to be infecting Rin. “H-hey, are there really that many?” she asked. “H-how about we listen to Kazuma and try to get a look at them? See how many there are, if we can really take them…”
That was as far as she’d gotten when:
“It’s fine, it’s fine! We can’t have Kazuma doing all the work! All right, let’s go!”
Even as Keith shouted, he leaped down the hill and around the corner toward what was probably a goblin infestation.
Taylor followed him at a sprint, and then we heard the two of them shout:
“Yikes! Look at ’em all!”
Rin and I dived in after them.
There was a horde there, all right. Thirty goblins at least.
So these are the famous goblins! They’re devil children, I see!
They were barely as tall as young grade-schoolers, but most of them had weapons and were looking right at us.
This could be a problem.
Rin grimaced at the scene. “I told you! Didn’t I tell you?! Let’s have a look, I said! See how many there are, I said!”
Taylor stepped past the corner to cover his Archer, Keith, and his shouting Wizard.
“A horde of goblins usually means fourteen at the most! Dammit! We can’t run now; we’ll get caught between these guys and the Bane! Here we go!”
At Taylor’s shout, Rin and Keith began preparing to fight with the grim determination of two tragic heroes.
No sooner did the goblins see this than they ran shrieking up the hill at us.
We were on a mountain road, remember, one side of which was a cliff.
“Gigya! Giii! Gii!”
And we held the high ground.
“Eyow! Dammit, one of them shot me!” Taylor shouted. “Hey, they’ve got archers! Rin, wind defense magic!”
“She’s chanting, but there won’t be enough time,” Keith shouted back. “Brace yourselves, everyone!”
“Wind Breath!”
The bit of Basic Magic I shouted out blew the incoming arrows away.
“K-Kazuma! Way to go!”
As Taylor called back from between his shield and me, Rin finished her chant.
“Wind Curtain!”
As she shouted, a whirlwind started up around the four of us.
Now that was magic!
This was what it meant to have a real spell-caster in your corner!
That spell must have been for deflecting the arrows or something.
Even as I admired the abilities of a true Wizard, I shouted, “I know a trick that’ll work on terrain like this! Create Water!”
I poured a bunch of MP into my basic spell and produced water along a vast swath so it would roll down the hill Taylor was defending.
Even as Rin said from behind me, “Kazuma?! What’re you—?” I put everything I had into one more Basic Magic spell: “Freeze!”
“Whoa!”
All three of the others called out in amazement as the ground under the goblins’ feet turned to ice.
I’d used this trick on the Demon King’s general already, and it easily sent the goblins tumbling all over.
Taylor, who stood on nice, dry ground, safely dispatched the creatures as they came shambling up the hill.
We weren’t even going to get a scratch!
I drew my sword and lined up next to Taylor…
“Taylor! A few of these guys think they can still make it up here. Let’s handle them together! You two in the back, use your ranged attacks to get the goblins who try to keep their distance!” I called out happily, feeling a touch of wonder at how well we worked together.
“W-way to go, Kazuma! Hey you guys, you heard the man! We could take on a hundred goblins like this!”
“Whooo ha-ha-ha! Easy win! I’m gonna make mincemeat out of you!”
“Here I go! I’ll let off a powerful spell right in the middle of them!”
In recklessly high spirits, we threw ourselves at the goblins.
11
We were on our way home after defeating the goblins.
“Ha-haaa! I ain’t ever seen magic like that! Who knew Basic Magic would be the most useful skill we had?”
“Yeah, really! At Magic Academy, they told me Basic Magic wasn’t worth the skill points it took to learn. Heh-heh ha-ha-ha! Boy, were they wrong!”
“Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Goblin-slaying has never been this easy! When I saw that horde, I thought we were done for!”
We reflected on our most recent encounter as we headed back to town along the mountain road.
As we discussed the battle, our adrenaline still high, I said, “Hey, now that the fight’s over, how about you give me your stuff again? Isn’t the weak-ass Adventurer supposed to carry the bags?”
At my touch of self-deprecating irony, the others answered:
“Hey, sorry—we’re real sorry, Kazuma; we apologize! We’ll never make fun of someone for being an Adventurer again!”
“Yeah, sorry, Kazuma! Hey, Adventurers are supposed to be weak—how did ours end up doing most of the work? What’s the deal with that?”
“Hey, Kazuma, how about you give me your bags? You’re the MVP; I’ll carry ’em for you!”
Watching the three of them scurry to apologize, I sighed.
They realized I’d been joking, and they all started laughing.
Ahh, this was sweet.
This was how an adventuring party was supposed to feel.
“Hrrn… Yowch…”
Taylor pressed on his arm and grimaced.
He had pulled out an arrow that had struck him during the battle.
“Hey, you all right? I could learn some healing magic right now if you need it, but if we don’t have some disinfectant or something with us, it’d be better not to close the wound until we get back to town. Then we can wash and disinfect it.”
Rin and Keith gulped as I spoke nonchalantly to Taylor.
“Kazuma, y-you can even learn healing magic…?”
“Healing magic… F-finally, our party would have someone who can use healing magic—”
Taylor interrupted the both of them.
“Hey, quit it. Kazuma already has a party. One full of advanced classes… Sheesh, now I think I get why an Adventurer is the leader of a whole party of experts.”
He gave me a chuckle as he spoke.
I, for one, still didn’t know why I had to babysit a party full of problem children, but apparently Taylor did. Maybe he’d tell me one day.
We got off the mountain road and walked onto the plain that spread out toward town.
Then I remembered.
I remembered there was something out there we should be watching for.
“Huh? Something’s coming this way—fast.”
Count on an Archer to have superior vision: It was Keith who noticed it first.
Then my Sense Foe alerted me, too.
A black creature was barreling toward us across the twilit plain.
“The Beginner’s Bane!”
At my shout, all four of us set off pell-mell toward town.
“Pant…pant…! Geez! All we’ve been through, and now this?!” Keith spat, breathing raggedly.
“Pant…pant… O-oh no, he’s getting closer—!” Rin said as if in answer, teary-eyed and out of breath.
The Beginner’s Bane was right behind us.
The town was still a ways off. It didn’t look like we were going to make it.
That was when Taylor, who had been at the head of our column, whipped around, sword at the ready, and said:
“Rin! He’ll catch us at this rate! You take Kazuma and make for town! Keith and I will slow him down! When you get there, run to the Guild and ask them to send backup!”
“Wha—?! R-right!” Keith said. “L-l-leave it to us! We let some other party’s guy do all the work today—time for us to do our part!”
Damn! That’s a good line!
But what was all that leave-it-to-us, you-go-on-ahead stuff?
“G-got it! Let’s go, Kazuma!” Rin shouted to me; she took my hand and made to run.
But be it only for the day, those guys were my party members. I couldn’t leave them there.
The Beginner’s Bane was practically in front of our faces.
Its target was Taylor, who stood and blocked its way.
“H-hey, Kazuma! Weren’t we getting out of here?”
I loosened Rin’s hand from mine. I heard her confusion as I made no move to leave. I spoke softly so as not to attract the Bane’s attention.
“Create Earth!”
I felt the little grains form in my hand.
“H-hey, Kazuma! You’re in trouble—hurry up and run!”
Keith was panicked, but I closed my hand around the bit of dirt and gently stepped just behind Taylor’s right side.
“Heyyy!” shouted Taylor. “Come and get us, fur ball!”
The Beginner’s Bane leaped at him.
“Wind Breath!” I intoned loudly, holding my palm out toward the monster.
“Graaah!”
Since I was at Taylor’s side, the Bane took my blast of sand full in the face, collapsing to the ground as hundreds of grains got in its eyes.
Even blind, it continued to charge toward us.
“Frraaarr!”
“Wait—! Wha…?! Huh?!”
Taylor and the others still didn’t understand what had happened.
“Now’s our chance!” I said. “Run like hell!”
There was still a ways to go to town, but there was no sign of the Beginner’s Bane.
They’d told me it was intelligent—maybe it was intelligent enough to stay away.
“Did we lose him?” Taylor muttered, still breathing heavily.
“It looks like we did…” Still breathing hard herself, Rin came to a halt and looked over her shoulder several times.
“Hoo…heh-heh… Hee-hee-hee-hee!” Keith let out a gale of laughter that seemed to well up irresistibly from inside him.
Had he gone mad with fear?
But his laughter seemed to be infectious.
“Heh-heh-heh…heh-heh!”
“Ah-ha-ha-ha-haaa!”
Pretty soon we were all laughing at our narrow escape from the Bane, even me.
“Hey, what the hell did you do, anyway, Kazuma? Huh? Ha-ha-ha-ha!”
Taylor pounded me on the back. It stung, but it didn’t feel bad.
I gave his armor a jolly smack in return.
“It was just Basic Magic! I’m only an Adventurer—Basic Magic is all I have the skill points for! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“Who’s ever heard of an Adventurer like you?” Keith howled. “Woo-ha-ha-ha! Oh! My sides hurt! We met the Beginner’s Bane and lived to tell about it!”
“You can’t be for real! There’s no way! What is your Intelligence, anyway?” Rin demanded. “Hey, Kazuma, let me see your Adventurer’s Card for a second!”
I politely handed over my card.
“Hey… What? Your Intelligence is totally normal. So are all your other stats, except… Whoa! Look at that Luck! That’s ridiculous!”
Taylor and Keith crowded in to see.
“Whoa, what the heck?!”
“H-hey, you think it’s Kazuma’s Luck that made this quest go so well? Pay homage, everyone! Maybe you can get a blessing out of him!”
No. Luck had nothing to do with it.
Even the girl at the Guild had said Luck wasn’t much use to an Adventurer.
And if I was really lucky, how did I end up with that party of losers?
But at Taylor’s words, all three of them joined their hands in front of their faces.
“H-hey, knock it off, you guys. Don’t pray to me… How about some coffee instead? I can make water; I can make fire…”
The three of them laughed and pulled out their mugs.
12
It was past midnight when we arrived back at the Adventurers Guild.
Besides collecting our reward, we needed to report that we’d seen the Beginner’s Bane.
As Taylor had said, though, since we had destroyed its entire horde, the Bane was likely to go in search of new goblins before it bothered any more human settlements.
“W-we maaaaade it!” Rin said. “I feel like I went on the biggest adventure of my life today!”
Laughing, we opened the door of the—
“Sniff… Hrk… H-hic… Ga-Gazumaaaa!”
At the sight of the tearstained, snotty Aqua, I quietly closed the door again.
“Hey! I totally get how you feel, but please don’t shut that door!”
Someone pried open the door, half weeping himself—it was the guy who’d gone at it with me that morning.
Dust, wasn’t that his name? The new leader of Aqua & Co.
He looked awful.
Dust was carrying Megumin on his back; Aqua, still crying, was carrying Darkness, whose eyes had rolled up into her head. She was knocked out cold.
On closer inspection, Aqua appeared to have large teeth marks on her head, along with something moist—some kind of spittle?
“What the… No, don’t tell me. I think I get it, and I don’t want any details.”
“No, listen! Please, listen! I was wrong; pleeeease hear me out! We’re on our way out of town, right? And I ask what kinds of skills everyone can use, and this kid was like, I can use explosion magic! and I was like, That’s great! And then she was all, Let me show you my true power! and let off a huge explosion right in the middle of an empty field! Why would you do that?!”
Dust pleaded with me, all but sobbing, but I covered my ears and pretended not to hear.
“Hey, listen to me! Then, the—the Beginner’s Bane! I don’t know if the sound of the explosion attracted him or what, but the Beginner’s Bane showed up! And now our spell-caster, who we need, is floundering on the ground, and I’m going, Let’s get outta here! but this Crusader throws herself in there without any armor, and—”
“Hey, guys. It looks like your friend here already reported the Beginner’s Bane for us, so how about we relax and have a little meal? Let’s toast the start of a new party!”
“Whoooo!”
Taylor, Keith, and Rin all cheered at my suggestion.
“No, wait! I apologize! I’ll bow down to you, anything, just please let me have my party back!”
Now Dust really was crying. I knew exactly how he felt.
“Have fun with your new party,” I said.
“I’m sorrrrryyy! I’m sorry about this morning! Forgiiive meee!!”
