Ruin
“Thanks again, Koh.”
“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.” That day, I’d woken up early in the morning to accompany Balrog to the valley. From what he’d told me, some of the ores he’d been observing had been exhibiting a particularly unusual reaction recently. He wanted to test if that reaction would continue if he moved them from the mana-rich environment of the valley to somewhere closer to his village. “You’re sure it’s safe?”
“For now, anyway. There aren’t any absolutes in research like this, but think about it—if I made magical tools with these things and they ended up only working in places with dense concentrations of mana in the atmosphere, they’d be totally worthless, right? You can’t make progress without taking a few risks in the process!”
“So, does that mean these ores are sort of like magical batteries?”
“‘Batteries’?” He cocked his head.
“Ah... I mean, like fuel? You know, magical firewood?”
“Oh, okay, then yeah. That’s basically right.”
Knowing about all these things I’ve never actually seen’s a real pain sometimes... I grumbled internally as I piled the research equipment Balrog had left in the valley onto the small, hand-drawn cart we’d brought from the village. Since he claimed the ore wasn’t that dangerous, I put a few chunks of it in as well.
“By the way, Koh—how long’s it gonna be before you start calling me your brother-in-law?”
“My brother-in-what?”
“Isn’t that the direction you and Rei are headed in?”
“The direction we’re...? Oh, this again?” Balrog cracked a grin—he was clearly immensely entertained. News of my exchange with Rei on that day had spread through the village like wildfire. There was absolutely no hope of hiding it. Ever since then, Balrog had used the incident as an excuse to tease me relentlessly. “Like you’re one to talk. What about you and Lyra?”
“Ugh! Finally punching back, huh?!”
“Letting myself get beat up one-sidedly goes against my principles. So, how about it?”
“L-Lyra and I really aren’t like that...”
“Oh? Then I guess you wouldn’t mind if I told her you said that?”
“Don’t! She’ll scold me half to death!”
“Meaning you really are ‘like that’ after all.” His reaction was as over-the-top as ever, but watching him fly into a fluster still brought a smile to my lips. Balrog responded with one of his own, albeit a fairly exasperated one.
“Can’t you do something about that smile of yours? You look like you’re plotting a murder.”
“I’m not doing it on purpose. This is just how I am.”
“Not true! You have a totally natural smile when you’re with Rei! Just gimme one of those every once in a while!”
A totally natural smile. Those words made me freeze up for a moment. It was the first time I’d been told anything like that. “All these weird expectations of yours are just making me nervous.”
Did I really smile naturally when I was with her? She’d obviously never been able to see it and point it out herself, but she certainly smiled back at me every once in a while. A tender, affectionate smile...
“Ah! You were just thinking about Rei, weren’t you?”
“What?”
“You were smiling just now! A really good one too! Downright angelic compared to what you give us!”
“You’re reading too much into this.”
“Yeah, sure I am. You don’t have to hide it! Looks like you’ll be calling me your big brother before too long after all! Don’tcha think you’d better start getting used to it before it happens for real?”
“Don’t need it. For one thing, we’re not even close to old enough to think about that stuff.”
“Oooh, so you’ve given it enough thought to consider your age? That’s some real progress, there! It’s fine, though. Haven’t you ever heard of common-law marriage? And hell, I could always clear out of the house, if you want! It’ll be agonizing to leave my beloved little sister behind, but I know she’ll be in good hands with you!”
“You’re impossible.” Balrog was positively frolicking, and I heaved a sigh as I finished loading up the cart and set off. I wouldn’t be able to escape his teasing that easily, of course. The cart wasn’t especially heavy, but a lot of his equipment was delicate, and I had no choice but to move slowly. He, on the other hand, was empty-handed. “Hey, Balrog?”
“What is it? You sound pretty serious.”
I hesitated. “Actually, never mind.”
“C’mon, again? How many times does this make? You’re always right on the verge of telling me something, then you shut up at the last second. Do you have any idea how curious you’re making me?”
“I just get really nervous whenever I try to spit it out.”
“You can get nervous?! But that means—you have feelings, Koh?!”
“...Hey.”
“Kidding, kidding. Trust me, I know that you’re way more sensitive than you look.” The good-natured mockery abruptly vanished from Balrog’s tone as he smiled at me. His smile was incredibly similar to Rei’s, and yet somehow, it didn’t prompt the same emotions I felt towards her. “Just talk to me, okay? I’m probably the easiest person around to talk to about this stuff, right? Times like these are exactly what guy friends are for!”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
“Same goes for brothers who’re close to your age, by the way!”
“Oh, cut it out. To me, Rei is...” I was about to try to explain what she meant to me, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even understand my feelings for her clearly, so I didn’t really have anything to say. “Balrog?”
“Hmm?”
“This village really—”
I couldn’t finish my sentence again, but this time, it wasn’t my fault. I was interrupted by a noise in the distance. An explosion.
“Wha— Balrog!”
“That came from the village!”
Nothing like this had happened here before—the situation was plainly abnormal. We sprinted for town, abandoning the cart without a second thought.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
“No... This can’t be happening...”
The village was ablaze. Gouts of flame spilled from countless homes, and many of the buildings had already collapsed. Corpses littered the ground, charred beyond all hope of recognition.
“Rei!”
I had a terrible premonition. The flames were working their way outward from the center of the village. What if Rei had been left behind in her house? Rei, who couldn’t see, and couldn’t escape on her own? I sprinted through the town, as if running as fast as I could would shake off the horrifying visions racing through my imagination.
“Ah...”
Rei’s house had not been spared. It was in a fiery blaze of smoke and ash.
“REEEEIIIIIIII!”
I hurled myself into the inferno before I even knew what I was doing. Their entire house and almost everything in it was made of wood—a perfect collection of fuel to stoke the flames. It was only a matter of time before it collapsed, and there was no concrete reason to believe I’d find her inside, but I desperately searched anyway. The rooms that were so familiar to me were now blackened and warped by fire, completely unrecognizable.
“She’s not here...?” I muttered to myself. There was no sign of her within, dead or alive, but I did find a pile of charcoal and ash I could barely identify as the remains of her wheelchair. In other words, if she had escaped from her house, she’d done so on foot.
“Rei... Rei! Can you hear me?! Where are you?!” I dashed out of the house and shouted at the top of my lungs. She couldn’t have possibly gone far, and there was no guarantee she’d be safe if she was still in the village. I had to find her and save her as quickly as possible.
“Do you wanna know?” An odd, discomforting voice rang out. It was quiet, muffled, and strangely rough.
“What?!”
“Here’s a hint—she’s right over that way.”
“Who the hell are you?!”
“Good question, but are you sure you have time to hear the answer?”
“Shit!” The voice was mocking me, whatever it was, but I couldn’t let my frustration get the better of me. I ran off in the direction it pointed me in. I didn’t have any other hints to guide me, after all.
“Ah... Rei!”
And there she was. She lay on the ground, as-of-yet unscorched.
“Koh...”
“Rei! Are you...okay...?” She hadn’t been burned, but as I knelt beside her, I immediately knew she was far from all right. A chunk of metal was buried in her back. Blood poured from the wound, and what little color and vitality she’d had in her pale skin was draining away before my eyes.
“Koh... I can hear you... Koh...”
“Rei! REI!” I lifted her in my arms and grasped her hand. She gave mine a feeble squeeze in return.
“Koh... It’s you... I knew it... I don’t have...to see you... I can feel...your light...”
“Stop... Rei, stop talking! If you keep talking, you’ll...”
Die. I couldn’t say it. The word just wouldn’t come out. I could tell how much blood she’d lost. I knew it was too late to save her, but I couldn’t bring myself to accept it.
“How? How did this happen?! Why?!”
“Don’t cry...Koh...” I hadn’t even realized I was crying. She reached up to my face, wiping the tears from my cheek. Her hand was so cold it made me shiver—cold as ice.
“I’m so...lucky...”
“Wh-What? Why...?”
“Because...I can pass on...in the arms...of the boy...I love...” With each word, her breathing grew more and more shallow. What little strength she had left was quickly leaving her.
“Rei...no, don’t! Don’t go! Rei!”
“Koh, please...care of...brother...”
Her hand fell from my cheek. I knew in an instant—she was gone.
“AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Her face blurred as my tears overflowed. A mess of emotions surged within me, spilling out in an anguished wail. I screamed so loudly my throat felt like it was being torn to shreds. She would never return to me. Never again would I hear her soft, gentle voice. Never again would I feel her warmth. That truth burned its way into me, and screaming was all I could do to release it.
“Oooh, look at you! Poor, pitiful Koh!” The voice returned. “If anyone deserves pity here, it’s the girl for sure. Or maybe all the villagers? They had no idea who or what you are, and they took you in anyway. They messed up big time.”
“What’s that...supposed to mean...?”
“It means this whole tragedy happened because of you.” A new voice rang out—and this time, it was a voice I knew. It was a man I’d seen and spoken with many times before: the mayor’s son. But something was wrong about him.
“Who the hell are you?”
“Oh? I was sure you’d come out swinging. You’re a lot more calm about this than I expected.” The mayor’s son wouldn’t talk like that. He wouldn’t go out of his way to provoke me. He was a quiet man who always struck me as lacking in self-confidence.
“This guy’s the one who set the village on fire! He killed allll the folks who were running around outside too, and threw ’em right onto the pyre!” A hazy, black fog manifested behind him. I’d seen it before. It was the monster that I’d been facing the moment I was reborn as my current self.
“He always cursed his fate, see. He hated the fact that he’d never get to leave his village! He hated that when his daddy died he’d have to take over as mayor and live in this tiny little hellhole until he kicked the bucket! Oooh, he was so sad! I just couldn’t bear to watch him, so I gave him a bit of advice: if he hated this village so much, he could just tear it all down! And the second that darkness was seeded in his heart, he was all mine. Mine to control, mine to dominate! All that was left was to wait for you to leave and set a couple fires! And I did it all for you, Kunughi Koh—all to drive you to despair!”
He destroyed the village to get to me. This only happened because I was here...
“I knew you’d taken a real shine to that girl of yours. So y’know what I did? I told her everything! I told her that this was all your fault! Went out of the way to make sure she didn’t get burned up, just to give her the chance to curse your name at the very end...but wow, did she ever mess that up!”
“You killed Rei... You killed everyone...just to make me suffer...?”
“I sure did. All to get revenge against you for making a fool of me. But it’s not enough yet! Not even close! I need more, more, more! I won’t be satisfied till I drive you into the deepest pit of despair that hell has to offer! I’ll crush your spirit as many times as it takes! I’ll use anyone and everyone around you to make you suffer!”
If disaster only befell the village because I was here...then does that mean that if I’d never turned up, nobody would’ve had to die? Rei wouldn’t have had to die...?
“I ruined...everything... It’s all...my fault...” I felt myself go limp. All my rage towards the creature drained away, replaced by a lifeless void. Coming to this village and meeting Balrog, Lyra, and Rei had changed me. It let me finally become myself, not just a Hero. But this is how it ended. I was wrong to hope for happiness. I was wrong to hope for a peaceful future.
“Koh...? And...is that you, Fred...?”
“Balrog...?” I barely noticed him arrive. His already-pale complexion was a shade lighter than usual, and his eyes looked somewhat out of focus.
“I can’t find Lyra and Rei, Koh. I’ve looked everywhere, but I just can’t find them...”
“Oh, Lyra? She turned to ashes a long time ago.” The dark cloud didn’t say it directly—it spoke through Fred, the mayor’s son who it had possessed. Balrog let out a wordless, horrified gasp. “She was lucky enough to be outside when the fire started, so I had to finish her off myself... With my own...two...hands...”
Up until that moment, Fred’s possession had left his expression blank and emotionless. But as he spoke, that began to change. A horrible fear was beginning to come over him. “No... No, this is wrong! I never wanted th—”
At almost the same instant he regained his sanity, he was silenced forever. His head fell to the ground with a wet thud, his body following shortly thereafter. Balrog gasped wildly for breath, his hand still raised, palm pointed at Fred’s corpse.
“B-Balrog...? What...? Why...?” A madness lurked within his eyes, and an orb of condensed wind so twisted and powerful it warped the scenery around it hovered in front of his outstretched hand. I knew immediately what had happened. Balrog had used his magic, the power he’d dreamed would bring himself and his family a life of plenty, to slice Fred’s neck.
“B-But,” he stammered. “He... He killed Lyra... Koh...? Koh, is that... Is that Rei...?”
“Ah...”
“Rei...? Koh, why isn’t she—” Moving. I knew what he was trying to ask, but he never got the chance to finish. The moment he realized that Rei was dead, the darkness that was enshrouding Fred’s corpse surged through the air, engulfing him.
“BWA HA HA HA HA HA! This is just perfect!”
“Balrog?! What did you do to him?!”
“This kid’s your best friend, right? Then I think he deserves to know the truth too! It’s all Koh’s fault—all of this happened because of him! Don’t you hate him, Balrog? Don’t you just wanna kill him?! He’s why Lyra and Rei are dead! Kunughi Koh’s the one who destroyed your everything!”
“Koh...destroyed...? N-No, that’s not true...”
“What?” said the creature, its tone steeped in derisive mockery.
“Koh’s...my best friend... He’d never...hurt them!”
“Balrog...”
“Ugh, friendship, I swear. What an absolute bore—here I was, thinking I’d get to enjoy watching you be killed by your own best friend.” The creature seemed fed up with us, but it wasn’t finished. “Oh, but in that case...I just had an excellent idea.”
It grinned. It didn’t have a face, but I could tell from its voice alone that it was grinning, and the sheer cruelty of its joy sent a chill down my spine.
“Ah... Ugh?!”
“Balrog?! What’s wrong?!”
“You realize this kid’s my vessel now, right? Heh, and looks like he’s a real prodigy too! He’s just brimming with magic and potential... Normally, that’s all there’d be to him—wasted potential. But that’s where I come in! I just have to give him a liiittle push in the right direction—give him the help he needs to really cut loose... I think this’ll be a real improvement, don’t you?”
“Wh-What’re you talking about...?”
“Or maybe I’ll mix myself in there for good measure! That’ll be the end for me as I am now, sure...but then I won’t even have to manipulate him. He’ll lose all sense of reason and lash out against humanity itself! I’ll make him into a monster to rule all monsters! An Archfiend, worthy of vanquishing a true Hero!”
Balrog...an Archfiend...?
“The girl you loved is dead thanks to you, and your best friend’s your worst enemy! How’s that for revenge?!”
“Shut the hell up! Rei and Balrog aren’t your goddamn playthings!”
“You’re right about that.” The darkness swelled around Balrog, engulfing him entirely. “They were just unlucky. They would’ve been just fine if they’d never met you.”
And with that, the creature vanished, leaving not so much as a trace of Balrog behind.
In just a single day, my entire life was upended...or rather, it might be better to say that it went back to the way it was always meant to be. I was returned to my former self—to the me who couldn’t escape from the bondage of heroism, not even by erasing his own memories.
By pure chance, I happened upon a book that lay discarded on the ground. Rei’s book.
—I promise I’ll tell you all about it when I finish reading, Koh!
I couldn’t read braille on my own, so I’d been genuinely happy when she promised to tell me the book’s story. But now, there was nobody left to read it.
Its cover was stained with blood, blotting out everything except the knight.
