Late-Night Date-Night
“A date?”
I was so caught off guard, I parroted her words back at her. I actually started to wonder if we were really in that sort of relationship... No. No, we were most definitely not! At least, not unless I’d been seriously misunderstanding the meaning of the word “date” for my entire life. I took a look at my phone’s screen, and found that it was a bit past ten p.m. Part of me was surprised by how long I’d spent in Kiryu’s house while the rest of me was appalled by the idea of going on a date that late in the evening.
“Y’know... Good little boys and girls are already in bed by now.”
“I’m a truant, remember?” Ayase giggled. “I’m already a bad girl, so I’m not worried about that at all. Besides, tomorrow’s Saturday, so what’s the harm in staying up a bit late?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be a shut-in? Now’s the perfect moment to live up to your title and, well, shut yourself in.”
I suddenly remembered a story I saw on the news a while back about people who use virtual reality to meet up for long-distance get-togethers. Could that be what she’s proposing? Actually, that makes a lot of sense—solves both the shut-in and the late-night problems all at once. A VR date. Virtual dating... Wait, no, when I put it that way it sounds kinda pathetic.
“Well, I can’t deny that I’m a shut-in... There’ll be a lot less people out and about late at night, though, so I thought I wouldn’t have to worry as much about perverts.”
“Perverts know there are less people out at night too! Trust me, that old dude was an exception. Normal perverts only go out at nighttime.”
“What exactly is a ‘normal pervert’?”
“Okay, when you put it that way, I guess all perverts are abnormal by definition...”
I’d said “pervert” so many times at that point the word was starting to go through semantic satiation. I wouldn’t mind at all if it stayed in that doesn’t-sound-like-a-real-word state forever, frankly.
“Whatever. My point is that you shouldn’t walk around at night. We can meet up sometime when it’s actually light out.”
“Haven’t you been listening, Senpai? I don’t wanna go out during the day; there’s too many people! The first pervert I met was out and about during the day too.”
Please don’t phrase it like you’re assuming there’ll be a second pervert someday.
“Besides, I can’t just leave you on your own right now,” she continued.
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just give up and go out with me, okay? Ah, I don’t mean that in a boy-girl ‘going out’ sense! Just in a going-on-a-date sort of way.”
“Not really following this...”
For one thing, isn’t “boy-girl going out” what dating means? Heck, isn’t “going on a date” basically synonymous with “going out,” period? Whatever the case, none of that quibbling made me any more inclined to take her up on her offer.
“Okay, I’m heading out now! Meet me at, hmm... Do you know where Aoba Park is? The one with the jungle gym that’s shaped like a giraffe?”
“I do...”
The giraffe-shaped jungle gym was pretty distinct, and I’d definitely seen it around. It was at a little park right by Kaito’s house. The place was totally unremarkable except for that weird giraffe thing. It had a climbing pole that ran from its neck to the ground, which always struck me as sorta grotesque.
“Perfect! Meet me there.”
I heard her open the door, followed by the sound of the wind blowing.
“Hey, wait!”
“By the way, no matter how long you take, I’ll be there waiting for you! I might really get assaulted by a pervert if you’re too slow, you hear me?” she snickered. I didn’t know what sort of act she was trying to put on, but I didn’t miss the slight wavering in her voice. “Please come, okay? I’ll be in big trouble if you don’t. I mean, really big trouble... Please. I’ll be waiting.”
Then she hung up.
I could tell that she was really worried towards the end of the call. Seriously, why push yourself that hard? If it’s that scary, then don’t force yourself into going out on a date in the first place! And besides, why would she want to meet up in the middle of the night, anyway? Was she planning on dragging me out to a twenty-four-hour beef bowl joint for a midnight snack, or something?
I was not in the mood. I would never be in the mood, but doubly so that moment in particular. I couldn’t exactly abandon her, though, so I ended up dragging myself towards Aoba Park against my will.
It’s not like I was taking everything she said totally seriously. I didn’t know her well enough to make sweeping judgments about her character, but I could at least tell that she was the sort of person who likes teasing and messing with people. But on the one in a million chance she was serious, there was also a one in a million chance she’d actually run into trouble.
I’d never been to Kiryu’s house before and didn’t really know how to get back to my apartment from there, especially if I’d be making a stop at the park on the way. Thanks to the boundless creativity and inventive nature of mankind (read: my smartphone and GPS), however, I didn’t have any difficulties finding a route there.
Residential streets all look the same even when it’s not dark out, and yet it still felt like I was lost, even though I knew I was on the right path. I suddenly and deeply appreciated the fact that maps are a vitally important tool, no matter what sort of world you live in. Whoever decided to make them freely available was a saint.
“Ah, that must be the place.”
The park that Ayase directed me to was smack-dab in the middle of a residential area. It wasn’t particularly large, but the only lighting in the area was a single, aging lamppost in the middle, so it was pretty gloomy on the whole.
“Where is she...?”
I squinted as I scanned around the area. I couldn’t see anyone at a glance, but then I noticed something move in my peripheral vision.
“Senpai...?”
“That you, Ayase? What’re you doing back there?”
For some reason, she’d been crouched down behind a nearby bench. She stood up somewhat unsteadily and fiddled with the hem of the one-piece dress she was wearing as she walked towards me.
“Good evening, Senpai! Well? What do you think?”
“Of what?”
“L-Like what you see?”
“Are you listening to yourself right now?”
Normal girls aren’t supposed to talk like that about themselves, never mind one on the student council! Ayase’s supposed to be a role model for the whole student body (even if she is a shut-in at the moment)! That’s part of the charm that (I assume) makes all the boys in her class swoon, though her looks probably also play a factor. Just imagine the disappointed looks on their faces if they saw this egregious display!
Well, I suppose a certain percentage of lechers might actually be into it. Oh yeah, and if it’s embarrassing enough that saying it makes you blush, I’m of the opinion that you shouldn’t say it in the first place!
“Don’t worry, Senpai. I only act this way around you.”
“Don’t act that way, period! Seriously, I don’t know how to react when you do stuff like that.”
She beamed, and I didn’t know how to react. Surprise surprise.
“So, uhh, why were you hiding behind the bench?” I asked, changing the subject.
“A girl goes out of her way to show off by wearing her favorite dress for you, and you’re just going to ignore her?” she pouted.
“Yup, you’ve successfully shown off. I’m very impressed. Good for you. So, why the bench?”
“Are you really that curious?” She gave me an irritated half-glare.
“Well, of course I am. I mean, what if the one in a million happened? And the other one in a million, which would make it a one in a trillion, I guess? Anyway, yeah, of course I am.”
There was also the other one in a million chance she’d already run into a pervert. The more used to these one in a million chances you get, the more dangerous they become. Not that “getting used to it” even makes sense in this context.
“I was...”
“Say what?”
“I was scared. Waiting out in the dark like that... It was really scary...” Her tone of voice dropped dramatically, to the point she was practically whispering, and she stared at her shoes. “I didn’t want to take my phone out, either, since I thought the light from the screen might catch someone’s attention. I didn’t have anything to do to pass the time, and it felt like I was waiting forever...”
By that point, she’d begun to tremble. I finally remembered that she was, in fact, a shut-in. She’d only been one for two days, but being out and about like this was still asking a lot from her. Actually, does a two-day-old shut-in really count as a shut-in? How many days do you have to spend without going outside before you qualify? If two’s enough, you could end up as one on accident over the course of a lazy weekend. Isn’t this the sort of thing that usually gets measured in, like, years? Man.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t... Hey, are you listening, Senpai?”
“Huh? Ah, yeah, I am. Good thing a pervert didn’t show up this time, right?”
“W-Well, yeah, but that’s also not really...” Ayase’s words trailed off, and she turned back around to face the bench. “Umm, why don’t we sit down for a moment?”
“I’m not exactly looking to take my time here. My job’s to get you home with Kaito, safe and sound, then go home and pass out.”
“You really think you could sleep, even if you tried?” Her words carried a serious weight to them, and I felt myself stiffen up. “I had a feeling after we talked on the phone, but now that I’ve seen you in person, I’m positive. Something happened to you, didn’t it?”
“...What do you mean, ‘something’?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t known you for long enough and don’t know you well enough to figure that much out...unfortunately.” She smiled in a meek, sort of girly manner. Talking to her in person gave a really different impression than getting brutally teased by her over the phone. “But still, I can tell it’s something, more or less. It’s okay, Senpai, you can talk to me. What happened—was it something bad?”
Defying all my expectations, it seemed she’d mustered up the courage to come all the way out to the park in the middle of the night just to give me a chance to vent. Her own trauma was far from healed, and there she was, worrying about mine. I wasn’t sure if she was being kind, or just plain nosy.
“You’ve been doing your best to support me, so it’s only fair for me to support you in return, right?”
She sounded excited by her own logic, and I sighed. It wasn’t a bad sort of sigh, though—not in the slightest, much to my surprise. Ayase Hikari was one weird girl, plain and simple. If I had to put a pin on what it was that struck me as so odd, it was her sheer over-familiarity, considering we’d only just met. She was absolutely, stubbornly determined to earn my trust, and something about her presence felt weirdly reassuring. That strange comfort was accompanied by an unpleasant weight in the pit of my stomach, of course, but I pushed through it.
“All right, fine.”
I plopped down onto the bench. I had a feeling she wasn’t planning to drop the topic no matter how hard I tried to dodge around it, and she’d been really brave to come out here, all for my sake. I had at least enough sincerity left in me to not let that go to waste. Ayase looked surprised for a moment, then beamed as she sat down (just a little bit too close) next to me.
She paused, taking a couple of deep breaths, then put on a serious expression and turned to face me. I noted, however, that the corners of her lips were twitching, almost like she was doing her best to hold back a smile. She looked so silly I almost ended up cracking up as I tried to figure out where to even start describing the day’s events. I’d decided to tell her about it all, but a bunch of aspects of my conversation with Kiryu were pretty dangerous privacy-wise. I couldn’t let myself screw up and blab all about her dead brother for obvious reasons.
“Is it hard to talk about?” she asked, considerately. I’d been sitting there for quite a while without so much as opening my mouth. “I can tell you’re under a lot of pressure. It’s okay, you can start with something easy and move to the harder stuff from there. Take it nice and slow. We have plenty of time.”
“...Yeah, okay.”
I wasn’t super convinced by the “plenty of time” part. Actually, if we stretched this out any longer we’d be liable to get scolded by a passing cop for being out too late. Still, though, I was really grateful for the “take it slow” part. I knew I’d inevitably need to face Kiryu and her brother face-to-face someday. It was inevitable that I’d find out about them eventually too. It just so happened that that day was today. So I needed to move forward, at my own pace, step-by-faltering-step.
“Hey, can I say something out of the blue?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“I have amnesia.”
“...What?”
“Yeah, no memories at all from before five years ago.”
“Whaaat?!”
“But, then I ran into somebody I knew during that period I forgot about, and everything’s kinda all weird and messy now. That’s about the size of it.”
“Senpai, stop! Time out!” She freaked out and tried to stop me, but she was a little late on the draw—I was actually already finished. “What happened to taking it nice and slow?!”
“Huh? I thought I did? I was talking really slowly, by my standards.”
“I meant in terms of telling it step-by-step, not words per minute!”
Huh? Why’s she panicking? Weird.
“‘Amnesia’ is a ridiculously huge pill to swallow already, and then you skipped over all the details on top of it! I can’t understand what you’re actually going through at all!”
“Are we in school? What, you grading my essay?”
“No, we’re not, but if that’s what it takes to make you take this seriously, then fine, let’s say we are!”
She was really starting to freak out. This must be why all the old folks always freak out about how the young’uns these days freak out too much.
“Anyway, start over, from the top, with more detail!”
“I’m an amnesiac and I met a person I supposedly know. What do?”
“That was even worse than the first time!”
“I mean, it’s not like going into detail’s gonna help.”
Considering all the privacy issues involved, I figured it’d be best to just skim over the issue in broad strokes and leave the rest to her imagination. I had a pretty strong feeling that if I let her dig any deeper than that, she’d end up prying the whole story out of me.
“Well, all right, fine.” She sounded less than pleased. I guess she might’ve assumed that I didn’t trust her enough to give her the full story. She said “fine,” but it was definitely a “this is not actually fine” sort of “fine.” She was clearly sulking.
“How did you end up with amnesia in the first place?”
“Does that mean you actually believe me?”
“Of course I do. Why would you lie to me?”
Holy crap, this girl’s way too innocent for her own good! I hope she doesn’t swallow stories like that without a second thought from just anyone.
“This is my first time meeting a real amnesiac,” she continued. “Did you get in a big accident, or something like that?”
“All it takes is a single stun-gun shot directly to the brain and blammo! Bye-bye, memories!”
“There’s no way that legitimately happened to you.”
“The cause isn’t really the problem here, so let’s just move on for now. The problem’s that by getting amnesia I ended up hurting this person pretty badly, and I’m not really sure what to do about it...”
“You’re really kind, aren’t you, Senpai?” Ayase beamed at me again, but I scowled in response.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No way! Losing your memories has to be an incredibly big deal for you, but you’re more worried about that acquaintance of yours than you are about yourself.”
Okay, I guess if you go out of your way to explain it like that, it’d almost sound like I’m a decent person.
“Look, I’m definitely in the wrong here. This all started because I forgot everything. That’s all on me.”
“Did you give yourself amnesia on purpose?”
“Don’t ask me... I’m not the one who forgot it all. You’d have to talk to the old me about that.”
I wasn’t lying, technically. I didn’t have any memories when I awoke as the current me, after all. Of course, I did have all the details explained to me after the fact.
“By the way, what sort of person is this acquaintance?”
“We’re classmates, I guess.”
“That means you’ll run into each other next Monday, right?”
“Yeah, it sure does...”
Wow, look at me, I’ve got a truant worrying about my school life. She’s right, though—if I don’t come up with a solid plan to deal with this situation before next Monday, I’m in serious danger of losing my best friend sidekick status! Extras aren’t allowed to have long, dragged out plot arcs about their worries!
“By the way, what sort of relationship did you have with this person before you lost your memories?”
“I mean, I can’t remember, but supposedly we were friends in elementary school.”
“Friends? Hmm.”
“I guess we both lived in another prefecture, and went to the same school. We met up again here by total coincidence, thanks to parents getting transferred for work and stuff.”
“I see, I see... By the way...”
Okay, that was definitely one “by the way” too many. What, am I talking with Ayase “By the Way” Hikari? I glanced over at her right around then, and noticed that her expression was pretty grim. Like, scary grim, and she was looking right at me. If this was a horror movie, this would be the part where the creepy violins start droning in the background—then, suddenly, dead silence.
“What is this person’s gender?”
.
..Huh? That’s it? You busted out the creepy violins to psych yourself up for that? Of all the questions to go all-out on!
“Sh-She’s a girl...?”
“Is that so?” Her tone of voice could give a man frostbite. For a second, I couldn’t even believe it came from her. “By the way. Is she cute?”
“Not sure if ‘cute’ is quite the right word...”
“‘Pretty,’ then. That settles it. You’re guilty as charged.”
“Why?!” As in both “why am I guilty” and just a plain, general, “why”?!
“You ignored my phone call to flirt with some other girl? I don’t believe you, Senpai! Looks like you’re in desperate need of a proper scolding.”
“No, seriously, on like five different levels, why?! We’re not even dating, are we?!”
“Of course we are! We’ve been together for almost eight years.”
“Wha—no, that’s not—you’re kidding, right...?”
“Of course I am.”
“YEAH! NO SHIT!”
Okay, for real though, jokes about the No Memories Zone are off-limits. For all I know, anything could’ve happened during that period! The whole deal with Kiryu came out of absolutely nowhere, and I didn’t know what to believe anymore.
“You really do have amnesia, don’t you?” Ayase crossed her arms, nodding thoughtfully. I guess my reaction there must’ve convinced her.
“What, were you testing me?”
“Teehee, I sort of just felt like it.”
Then what was with the death glare?!
“Well, considering it’s so tied up with your amnesia, it’s hard for me to dig into the details. But there’s one thing I can say, at least.” She cleared her throat, stood up, then walked right in front of me and bent over to look me straight in the eye. “This isn’t like you, Senpai.”
“What’s not like me?”
“Back when we talked about that horrible old pervert, you charged right into the subject without stopping to think about tact or delicacy for a second. Isn’t getting hung up on the details and brooding over them out of character for you? If accidentally hurting someone makes you feel this depressed, then why were you fine treating me like damaged goods?”
“Holy crap, phrasing!” This girl really has a way of picking the most messed up way to say stuff sometimes!
“Maybe as far as your old friend’s concerned, the current you is a totally different person than the one she knew. But that was over five years ago! You were an elementary schooler, right? Wouldn’t it be weird if you grew up physically but hadn’t changed at all mentally over that much time? You’d be a kid in the body of an adult! You’d be a teenager running around with a pacifier in his mouth!”
“No, I wouldn’t!”
I might not remember anything about past me, but I’m pretty confident I wouldn’t run around with a pacifier under any circumstances. Hell, kids that age are already way too old for those in the first place!
Even while she was messing with me, though, Ayase still kept her eyes locked onto mine. Her expression didn’t suit her jocular tone in the slightest. While looking pretty serious, she also seemed like she was nervous.
“Then you should just tell her! Tell her that even if you’ve changed, you’re still the one and only Kunugi Kou.”
“I’m...the one and only me?”
“Maybe I’m being a bit unfair to your pretty little childhood friend, but the way I see it, living the life you want to live’s more important than sparing her feelings.” Ayase’s face lit up in a smile once more. “And no matter how it turns out, I’ll always accept you, Senpai!”
Yeah, I can’t deny it: there’s absolutely a resemblance. Maybe it’s rude of me to think about her this way, but no matter how I look at it, Ayase reminds me of her. It’s something about the way she always seems to be jumping from one thing to the next, the way her expression changes at the drop of a hat, and the way she directly tackles problems when push comes to shove, breaking down the walls I’ve built around my heart—whether I like it or not.
It makes me want to do what she tells me to. To trust my everything to her. To let her pamper me.
“All right,” my answer comes out, naturally and immediately. “I have no clue if this is a good idea, though. I’ll take a shot at living the way I want to, and if I crash and burn, well, that’s that.”
“That’s right! If it turns out badly, just come and find me. I’ll do my best to comfort you!” She cheered me on with a smile.
She called me kind, of all things, then went and worried about me even more than she worried about herself. She was far kinder than I could ever be... Or maybe “good-natured” would be a better word for it? She was a true heroine who came running out into the darkness in spite of the wounds that still ate away at her, and I felt like I had to at least express my gratitude.
“Thank you, Ayase.” It was short, as far as expressions of gratitude go, but it came from my heart.
“Ah... Any time!”
I’m sure I was wearing an effortless, natural smile at that moment. Seeing Ayase’s own heartfelt grin made it easy to tell.
All right, just you wait, Kiryu! Screw next Monday—I’m confronting your memories of Kunugi Kou head-on, and I’m afraid to say that means confronting you head-on as well. I’ll take you on as myself: the Kunugi Kou you so despise!
“Achoo!” While I was busy exulting in my resolve and declaring war against Kiryu in my mind’s eye, Ayase let out an adorable little sneeze, then blushed.
“Yeah, I guess it gets pretty chilly at night, even during the summer.”
“E-Excuse me!”
“I’ll walk you home. I have absolutely no clue what I’ll say to Kaito if he catches us, though.”
“Don’t worry, I know I can make something up that’ll fool him.”
Well, somebody’s confident. I chuckled as we set off, walking down the road side by side with only the occasional streetlight to illuminate the way. We didn’t talk. She stayed quiet, and I was perfectly content to follow her lead.
Right now I’m just your average everyman extra. I happen to be her brother’s best friend, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not suited to talk to a heroine of her caliber. Even supposing that Ayase has feelings for me in one way or another, it’s absolutely never happening. It can’t happen.
“Well, here we are. Good night, Senpai!”
In the end, we arrived at her house without exchanging so much as a word. She gave a quick goodbye and ran inside, not sparing even a moment for me to reply. I heard Kaito shouting something a moment later—it was pretty easy to guess that he’d been worried about his sister, considering how she ran out of the house without explaining a thing to him. He’d probably been sitting around waiting for her the whole time. Ayase the Younger claimed to not have a crush on Ayase the Elder, but I was still convinced that Kaito had a huge sister complex. I was relieved to see that she was well taken care of. And yet...
“To be honest, Hikari-chan’s been really isolated at school lately...”
I thought back to what Yuuta told me back in the counseling room. She’d explained that Ayase was facing some problems, but wasn’t very specific about them. Even so, there are only so many reasons why a high schooler might end up ostracized from her peers. Ayase Hikari managed to join the student council as a first-year—that’s allowed only for the one new student chosen to represent their grade level. The representative, in turn, is determined by the entrance exam: whoever gets the highest score gets the job.
When I was a first-year, Kiryu was our grade’s chosen representative. Apparently, she’d turned down the student council part of the job, thus leaving them without a new staff member. So I didn’t really know what it was like being in class with a first-year member of the council, but I was still certain that joining them must have earned Ayase a lot of respect and attention from her peers. The likely cause of her ostracization followed pretty naturally from there: jealousy.
At the end of the day these were all just my assumptions, of course. I knew that if I was on the right track, there could be more than one reason why she didn’t want to go to school. Of course, this wasn’t the time to be thinking about any of that stuff. I had to focus on solving the problem in front of me, and worry about her issues once that was over with.
Soon after, I arrived at my next destination, which also happened to be a place I’d run away from just a few hours earlier: Kiryu’s house. Checking my phone, I found that it was already a bit after midnight, so I figured her parents had most likely already come home. I wasn’t quite stupid enough to call them up on the intercom, though. Heck, even if I was, I’d have higher odds of waking them up and annoying the hell out of them than successfully getting in touch with her.
As such, I decided to conceal myself behind a nearby utility pole and bide my time. I’d stopped by a convenience store on the way there to buy a bottle of milk and a red bean bun, which I pulled out of my bag.
“If you’re gonna do a stakeout, you gotta eat the classic stakeout snack!” I said, to nobody in particular.
By the way, I don’t actually like red bean paste. Also, eating junk food late at night’s super bad for you. Honestly, I only bought it in the first place because that’s what cops always eat when they’re on stakeouts in police dramas. My actual secret weapon was (drumroll, please)...
“Shampoo! ☆ Weekly!”
It was my trusty partner for the night’s stakeout: a weekly advice magazine centered entirely around shampoo. I’d never read it before, but the instant it entered my line of sight it had my full attention. Oh, and it was only 208 yen total, with tax! In other words, hella cheap! Pretty hefty for the price too, if I do say so myself (and I do). I bet that if I wrapped it around my waist and slid my shirt over it, it’d even protect me from a knife-wielding mugger. Entertainment and practical application: this thing’s got it all! Without further ado, let’s take a look inside.
I flipped open the magazine and was greeted by a veritable ocean of shampoo. Page after page of shampoo bottles, arranged one after another catalog-style, each with a pretty extensive review attached to it.
Hmm, hmm, I see, I see! A top three hundred shampoos of the year ranking, huh? Man, I didn’t even know they made this many different kinds of shampoo! This one claims that “a capable man starts his day off right by choosing a capable shampoo!” Real men care that much about shampoo? News to me. I’d better write that one down.
Wait, wait, hold on a second—this is a weekly magazine, right? As in, they put out a new one of these every single week?! How is that even possible? Their editors must be university-educated shampoo PhDs to crank these out at that pace! I mean, the sheer excess of it all strikes me as sorta stupid, but it’s also pretty entertaining in its own right. This must be what culture shock feels like. I’m going through a real learning experience.
It also has pretty extensive sections on the historical origins of shampoo and shampoo trivia, not to mention what I’m pretty sure is some sort of serialized manga? A battle manga, at that, themed around and starring construction workers. And it’s actually pretty good! I’m honestly curious about what’ll happen next! But, I mean, y’know. This has absolutely nothing to do with shampoo, right? Huh.
I bought this thing on a whim after it caught my eye, but it turned out to be the ultimate tool for killing time. Wonder if kids these days grow up reading stuff like this? It’s making me want to go buy some shampoo so badly, I can hardly resist. Turns out the world of shampoo is so deep and expansive, you might even have to import a bottle from overseas if you want the really good stuff.
Okay, okay, here’s some trivia for you: you can make your own shampoo at home with just vinegar and baking soda! Homemade shampoo’s this whole thing in YA fantasy novels. Like, the main character will get whisked away to another world and use their modern knowledge to “invent” the wonders of modern civilization (yes, shampoo) and cheat their way into prosperity. That always bothered me, actually—I mean, most people don’t just casually memorize shampoo recipes, do they? What kind of life do you have to live to end up with specialized knowledge like that? You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, Isekai-san!
Shampoo Weekly actually included a comment on the subject: “The authors of those stories don’t really know their stuff. They just look it all up on the internet!” C’mon, shampoo people, you can’t just say stuff like that! The editor-in-chief wrote a comment too, saying “If I got summoned to another world, I’d end all war with the power of shampoo! I’d bring about a shampoo revolution!” Just reading it made me cringe.
...Yeah, it’s sorta nice to peek into a totally foreign culture like this every once in a while. The trivia sections and the columns are pretty fascinating, and I’m honestly sort of excited to see what hot shampoo takes they’ll put into next week’s issue. Not that I’m actually gonna buy it.
When I finally finished reading through that edition of Shampoo!, a bout of sudden dread plowed right into me. I’m pretty sure I’ve read a paper about how past the hour of midnight, electronic waves emitted by the moon do something to the human body that spikes adrenaline? Uhh, maybe?
Anyway, I figured that I’d probably fallen victim to Late-Night Energy Spike Syndrome. Up until just a moment before I’d been in all-out “Woo-hoo, the real party’s just starting! Pump it up and bring it on, yeah yeah yeah!” mode, but unfortunately that energy went the way of Cinderella’s carriage, leaving me with nothing more than an imaginary pumpkin to keep me company until dawn.
To top it off, the spell left behind in its wake not a pair of glass slippers, but rather a serious case of sleep deprivation-induced fatigue and despondency. I’ve heard that if you make a habit of using that late-night energy boost, you can end up with an actual sleep disorder, unable to go to bed at a reasonable hour even if you want to. Man, the human body’s really inconvenient sometimes, isn’t it?
I read through Shampoo! three times in a row, trying to pick out all the typos in a desperate attempt to whip my gradually slowing brain back into shape, before I finally heard trains start to run up and down the nearby tracks. Glancing up, I found that the sky was just beginning its transition from pitch-black to blue. The morning was finally dawning. Thank you, Mr. Sun. Thank you, Shampoo!.
I wrapped Shampoo! up in the bag I got from the convenience store and shoved it into my satchel, where I found my hamburger from the day before. I’d completely forgotten about it, and it was stone cold. Meh, whatever. I’ll save it for later.
I had more important things to worry about at that moment—specifically, the fact that there were no signs of life coming from the Kiryu household. It was Saturday, so her parents were probably off of work and it was within the realm of possibility that they’d sleep in until noon. Maybe Kiryu herself would as well? I hadn’t considered that at all and was starting to panic.
And just as I was starting to freak out about the fatal flaw in my master plan, the warm rays of the morning sun lit up my surroundings, and the door opened. Out stepped a strikingly beautiful young woman with long black hair: Kiryu Kyouka herself. Her clean, well put together atmosphere was somewhat contrasted by the unfashionable tracksuit she was wearing. Between that and the way she tied up her hair, then started doing warm-up exercises by her front door, I assumed she was going out for her daily run.
So wait, not only is she a perfect honor student, she’s dedicated enough to keep a consistent workout schedule on top of it? Even on weekends?! What kind of monstrous ambitions are driving this girl?! You’re doing this all wrong again, Kiryu—you’re supposed to be too top-heavy on account of your massive brain to be good at sports stuff! Either that, or you could have all the skill for sports, but none of the stamina! That’s how characters like you appeal to the audience! Working hard for the sake of self-improvement isn’t gonna win you any fans!
It worked out perfectly for me, though. I gave my cheeks a slap to try and stave off the fog of sleepiness that was clouding my mind, then jumped out in front of her. That’s gotta wake me up, right? I mean, if seeing a pretty girl was all it took to wake people up we wouldn’t need coffee, but still!
“Kiryu!”
“Aaah?! Wait... Kunugi-kun?”
“I need you to go out with me!”
“...Excuse me?”
Ah, whoops. Stepped on a land mine. Kiryu was giving me the imminent murder stare. You know how this sort of thing goes—you have a whole paragraph of explanation in mind, but then you’re so stupidly sleepy that it gets abridged down to a single sentence and ends up meaning something completely different. Just one of those “Oh no, now it looks like I was confessing my love to her!” sorta whoopsie-daisies.
We’d officially moved beyond Monday-being-awkward territory. We were into “‘So hey, like, y’know that Kunugi kid? He, like, totally asked me out, y’know?’ ‘Omigod, no way, for real? Poor Kyouka-chan!’ ‘Kyouka-chan’s, like, totally crying, Kunugi! Apologize!’ ‘Cough up your reparations, then drop dead! Gya ha ha!’” territory. I’m talking full-on verbal abuse from all and sundry, no doubt about it. I was cruising straight for a bad ending.
“Aaah, no, not what I meant! Not ‘go out’ in a dating way! I mean, like, in a literal, ‘go with me to a specific place’ sense!”
“A specific place?”
“...The town we lived in before I lost my memories.” Kiryu’s eyes widened with shock. “I might remember something if I actually go there, right? It’s a long shot, but I thought it’d at least be worth a try.”
“I...see. All right, then. I’ll go along with you.”
It took her a moment of thought, her chin rested in her hand, before she finally agreed.
“Really? You’re sure?”
“Just one thing, first...” Kiryu looked me up and down, appraising me and obviously not liking what she saw. “You’re wearing the same outfit as yesterday. You haven’t been home since then?”
“Err, ah, yeah, I guess.”
I was, in fact, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday—in other words, my school uniform. Goes without saying that I hadn’t taken a bath, either, and don’t even ask about my underwear.
“In that case, go home, take a shower, and change clothes. I can’t stand being around filthy people.”
Harsh, but fair.
“Got it, will do. Let’s meet at the station in a bit, then.”
“...I’m sorry to make you go to all this trouble.”
“Nah, I was just thinking about how much I wanted to take a shower. I’m so sweaty and sticky, I’m grossing myself out. Summer humidity’s the worst, right?”
“That’s not what I meant.” It wasn’t? Huh. “You waited out here all night just for me, didn’t you?” She looked exasperated, but at the same time, she smiled.
When I really thought about it, though, I realized: isn’t staking out somebody’s house all night pretty stalker-ish? It was a bit late for that revelation, but in retrospect, I was really glad she didn’t call the cops on me.
“You’re such an awkward guy.”
I was breaking out into a cold sweat internally, but Kiryu was riding a completely different train of thought and mumbled to herself in an almost wistful tone. Whether or not I’m an awkward person on the whole, I was certainly feeling awkward after hearing that, or at least embarrassed. I forced a grin to try and cover it up.
“It’s cool. This whole thing was my idea. I mean, I guess it would’ve been easier if I had some way of contacting you, but you never gave me your number no matter how many times I asked.”
“That’s true, now that you mention it. Should we exchange numbers, then?”
She pulled her phone out of her pocket.
“Huh? Seriously? That easily?”
“I mean, you always asked as part of some joke—it always felt like you were making fun of me. Who’d give you their number in that context? You’d probably abuse it somehow.”
“Riiight, fair...”
“But considering everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t mind anymore. You bothering me, that is.” She pulled out her phone as she casually dropped that bomb on me. Her tone of voice was intensely suggestive—anyone other than me might’ve swooned just from hearing her talk like that.
“I mean...it’s not like we know if I’ll ever need to contact you again, after this,” I hesitantly added.
“I have a feeling you will. Quite soon, in fact.”
“If you say so...”
I didn’t really get it, but I traded numbers with her anyway. As far as I knew, not even Kaito had managed to get ahold of her number. I might have actually been the first person in my whole class to accomplish it, and I was weirdly psyched about that.
“Okay. Ten at the station sound good to you?”
“All right.”
Our plans established, I headed back to my place to tidy myself up. I was honestly shocked at just how well the whole thing went. As to whether or not this venture would be for the better or the worse in the long run, well... Either way, it’d be better than doing nothing at all, surely. I walked along with high spirits and a spring in my step.
